The Last Few Days: Waiting on Your Miracle

Many expectant moms find the last weeks before their baby’s arrival to be fraught with a rainbow of emotions.  The excitement builds as the due-date comes.  This date has been the goal.  Although realistically only 5% of babies are born on their due dates, we still cling to that date as if it means something bigger than it does.  Just as every fruit on the same tree reaches ripened maturity at different points in time, so do our babies.  Another survey suggests 7 out of 10 babies are born past their estimated due dates (as a birth doula, I can say this backs-up my experiences with mothers and babies). 

Babies aren't just hanging around after their due date filing their nails and looking at their watches -- they are still growing and developing, and important changes are taking place.  Babies at this late stage are storing up "brown fat," whose sole purpose is to generate heat -- this helps a newborn maintain his or her body termperature.  Other last week events include:  weight gain, iron storage, sucking and swallowing practice, and of course, lung-maturation.

There is new evidence that babies being born via elective cesarean birth are healthier and have less problems if they are born no more than 7 days before their estimated due date.  The New England Journal of Medicine published these results January 6, 2009.  According to this study, babies "delivered at 37 weeks were twice as likely to have health problems, including breathing troubles, infections, low blood sugar or the need for intensive care."  As far as complications suffered, (and know this study focused on over 13,000 women) babies affected were:

15% of those born at 37 weeks

11% of those born at 38 weeks

8% of those born at 39 weeks

From my limited knowledge, and my (weak!) math skills, I would throw out a guess that of babies born at 40 weeks, 6% might experience complications.  Although this study focused on timing of elective cesareans, the information applies to all babies -- and this is good stuff to remember if an induction of convenience is offered.

Mothers and fathers aren’t the only ones anxious to greet the new stranger; well-meaning family and friends can cause undue stress on the expectant family with their calls, visits, and inquiries as to whether the baby has arrived yet.  Some ways families have alleviated the pressure these loved-ones can unknowingly bring are:

-Appoint a family member to field phone calls.  Update this family member as needed, and direct phone calls to his or her line.  Have family members call this person for the most up-to-date information. 

-Leave a message on your machine that lets people know baby has not been born yet, the expectant couple (or family) is resting and gearing up, and you will share the news as soon as there is news to share.

-Place a sign on your door which explains to visitors (if you do not feel like answering the door, or maybe you are catching up on sleep) that you are resting and wish to not be disturbed right now.  Assure them you will welcome a visit (and a lended-hand) once the baby is born, but for now focus is elsewhere and you are busy resting and nesting.

It is not uncommon for an expectant mother to start to go within herself at this point.  Her inner focus is being shifted from her environment, her house, her life-to-this-point, to her body, her baby, and the process which will unite out of the womb what was united inside those many months ago.  Often she will want time to meditate, journal, rest, enjoy her partner and their last days together before they greet, together, this new human they took part in creating.  Emotions can come freely, including fear, sadness, joy, excitement, relief, apprehension, with interminglings of feeling overwhelmed, unsure, and stressed.

Remember to take care of yourself; rest when you want to rest, work when you want to work, eat when you want to eat.  Pamper yourself – get a massage, have your nails done, visit your acupuncturist – whatever makes you feel special and taken care of.  Have your partner read books to your baby, share in this time together. 

Final words for mom and dad:  Rest, relax, and enjoy each other – strengthen your bond so you can welcome your new baby with love and strength.