Discovering Doulas #2: Could I be a Doula?

​Wherever I have lived, I always worked hard to bring doula trainings to my area. Why, some might ask (my husband included!)? Why would I want to bring in more competition? I guess my reasoning there would be, so birthing families in my community have more options about the doulas they are able to select from.

I often hear things from people like, "I would love to be a doula, but ___________." The answers that fill that blank are things like, I have never given birth, I already have a full-time job, I have little ones at home, I am too old, I am too young, etc.

At the end of the doula training yesterday, as a closing exercise, the women were asked to say why they would be good doulas. The very last woman, who was also tending her on-the-run baby for just the few last minutes of the training, said  -- very passionately -- "Because I want to!" This wasn't an answer we might expect from a toddler who is asked why he is kicking the dog, but instead, it was a woman's firm, known, felt desire surfacing as she examined what it was within her that would allow her to be truly present for a woman during labor and birth. And I cannot wait to work with her!

Self-examination is a good tool. This can come in handy when looking at why you might want to start down the doula path. Visiting the DONA site gives many answers to the common questions women have when they consider what it would take for them to become a doula. Other great places for answers can be online doula websites, real doulas already working in your community, and books, such as "The Doula Book," and "The Birth Partner."

I have heard this before: "I can't hire that doula, she has never had a baby." While this can be a very important to a family as they are selecting a doula, upon further examination, it is not hard to see where the logic can breakdown: Simply, a person who has never had a baby is potentially bringing less baggage to birth than a perso who has experienced birth and formed personal opinions about what makes it good and bad. Also a bonus, a person who has not given birth likely has less entanglements at home which might complicate their life as a doula.

Of course you can be a good doula no matter what your background -- no babies, cesarean births, or 10 kids all born at home -- because essentially, helping a person through their own experience of birth has nothing to do with me. This is not my show, these aren't the choices I would make for myself, this is not the baby I  will raise and love for the rest of my life. This is their experience, and my job is not to judge -- my job is to offer information, support, and caring as they make the decisions that are the best for them, their baby, and their particular labor/birth.

So, it doesn't matter who you are and what you have experienced, it only matters that you want to help, and that through training, intuition, and instinct, you know how to provide that help without imposing or inserting your own agenda, but that you have the ability to care for this person, walking alongside them and their partner, as they navigate their road together.

A few places you can find more answers:

DONA's FAQ
So You Want to Be a Doula?
Mothering Magazine's Forum for Birth Professionals

Random Question #3