Stacie Bingham: Birth Support in Kern, Tulare & Kings Counties
  • home
  • learn
  • birth
  • feed
  • meet stacie
  • blog
  • growing me

Doesn't Every Partner Love Birth?

3/16/2017

0 Comments

 
Picture
​Seeing mom working so hard to bring their baby out? Making noises that seem more appropriate coming from a howling monkey instead of a human? Watching things that maybe one has only seen on Discovery Health Channel through half-closed eyes? The blood, sweat, and tears of it all? Does that answer your question?

Birth is an amazingly transformative event in the life of the family. As a doula and an educator, of course I relish in the whole thing and view baby's emergence as a spiritual experience unlike any other. I am comfortable with the noises of labor and the sound of hard work -- the music which accompanies this great act. Not everyone is, though, and not everyone feels sure about the birth process and the safety of their partner, the laboring person.

My husband and I have been married 21 years. On our 11th wedding anniversary we found ourselves seated across the table from each other at a Chinese food restaurant. At this point we had three of our four boys, the youngest just a year old. I decided to start the conversation.

"I want us to think about our time together, and take inventory of our relationship, our family, and our lives." My husband suddenly looked like a he walked into a pop quiz.  He didn't look eager to answer my probing questions. I was joking, but this did lead to one question that had been on my mind lately:  "Well, answer this for me -- did you enjoy being at our babies' births, or would you have rather waited outside until it was over?" Being a birth-lover, I knew what answer I wanted to hear -- did I have it within me to hear the other answer, too?

"Honestly, I would have liked to come in when it was all over." I did kind of know this, I don't know why I was expecting to hear that other answer. I love my husband, and to his credit, he never left me needing or wanting more during labor; coupled with my doula's support, he was my main pillar of strength. I know he appreciated my doula's way of caring for me, of anticipating my next whim, of comforting not only me, but also him.  

The realization set in that labor and birth is not everyone's cup of tea.  

I have seen partners, unsure in the beginning, actually put a glove on and check Mom's cervix (with the help of a wonderfully encouraging midwife). I have seen a dad be the first to touch his baby's little head as it peaked ever-so-slightly out. I have even seen a baby tumble out into a dad's strong hands.  But a partner does not have to do any of that to be involved and to show his or her love for the laboring person.  Hands are important, but the location of hands is not.  Hands on hair, hands on forehead, hands on back -- hands on hands -- can be accomplished by a birth partner at any comfort level.  Touch is the goal -- touch and loving words.  

In my husband's case, he held my hands during the most intense parts of labor, and he encouraged me with his voice; sterile gloves were not needed for either.
0 Comments

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    My Life...

    ♥  four young boys and a boy dog (offspring)
    ♥  partner-in-crime (husband)
    ♥  
    families, mamas, and babies (many of whom are new to earth)

    Categories

    All
    31 Days
    31 Days 2014
    31 Days 2015
    31 Days 2016
    31 Days 2017
    31 Days 2018
    31 Days 2019
    ACOG
    Adoption
    Affordable Care Act
    Anatomy
    Animals
    Anxiety
    Appreciation
    Apprenticeship
    Art
    Babies
    Baby
    Bakersfied Doula
    Bakersfield
    Bakersfield Doulas
    Batman
    Bereavement
    BFHI
    Bias
    Birth
    Birth Center
    Birthplan
    Birth Plan
    Birth Story
    Birth Team
    Blogging
    Bob Marley
    Bonding
    Books
    Breastfeeding
    Breastfeeding Laws
    Breastfeeding Usa
    Breastmilk
    Breastpumps
    Business
    Carry The Future
    Cary York
    Cavities
    CBE DIY
    Certification
    Cesarean
    Chico
    Childbirth Education
    Choice
    Cholestasis
    Chronic Illness
    Cims
    Class
    Clients
    Coach
    Comfort
    Communication
    Competition
    Complications
    Confidence
    Consumer
    Coping
    Costco
    Counseling
    Cows
    Dad
    Dads
    Dancing
    David Bowie
    Death
    Dentist
    Depression
    Dermatologist
    Dilation
    Discovering Doulas
    Distortions
    Distraction
    Doctor
    Domperidone
    Dona
    Doula
    Doulas
    Doula Week
    Dr. Brian Palmer
    Drugs
    Due Date
    Early Labor Plan
    Ecstasy
    Embarrassing
    Empowerment
    Encapsulation
    Enloe
    Epidural
    Espanol
    Evidence
    Experience
    Facetime
    Failure To Thrive
    Failure-to-thrive
    Family
    Faq
    Faqs
    Fear
    Fear Tension Pain
    Fees
    Flu
    Frenectomy
    Frenotomy
    Gratitude
    Greece
    Green Baby Expo
    Handouts
    Hanford
    Healing
    Henci Goer
    High Risk
    HM4HB
    Holy
    Homebirth
    Hormones
    Hospital Birth
    Humor
    Hygeia
    Hyperemesis
    IBCLC
    Induction
    Infant Loss
    Infant Massage
    Insufficient Glandular Tissue
    Insurance
    Interventions
    Interview
    Jaundice
    Journal
    Kids
    Labor
    Labyrinth
    La Leche League
    Lamaze
    Language
    Late Term Preemie
    Laughing
    Leonard Cohen
    Lip Tie
    Liquid Trust
    Lithotomy
    Loss
    Love
    Low Milk
    Mammals
    Masks
    Media Resources
    Meeting
    Memes
    Mentor
    Midwife
    Midwives
    Military
    Milksharing
    Milk Supply
    Mini Cooper
    Miscarriage
    Mizuko Kuyo
    Moms
    Morning Sickness
    Motherhood
    Moving
    Multiples
    Music
    Networking
    New Doulas
    New England Journal Of Medicine
    Notebook
    Notes
    Nurses
    Ny Marathon
    Online Support
    Orgasm
    Origin Story
    Overdue
    Overpowerment
    Oxytocin
    Pain
    Partners
    Passion
    Passion For Birth
    Paula Radcliffe
    Peanut Ball
    Peers
    Photography
    Pitocin
    Placenta
    Placenta Pills
    Poem
    Popsicle Panniculitis
    Postpartum
    Postpartum Support International
    Premature
    Pushing
    Questions
    Rebirthing
    Rebozo
    Reflux
    Refugees
    Reimbursement
    Relaxation
    Resources
    Retained Placenta
    Rights
    Rockabye Baby
    Role
    Root Canal
    Rules
    Safety
    Scale
    Second Stage
    Self Care
    Sexual Trauma
    Shared Decision Making
    Sheep
    Skin Cancer
    Socks
    Solids
    South Africa
    Spiderman
    Sports
    Stages Of Labor
    Stillbirth
    Strong-ties
    Students
    Studies
    Superhero
    Support
    Surrogate
    Teaching
    Teaching Tips
    Teeth
    Temper Tantrums
    Thank You
    The Price Is Right
    Tiara
    Tongue Fu
    Tonguetie
    Tongue Tie
    Tongue-tie
    Touch
    Training
    Trauma
    Trust
    Tulare
    Ultrasound
    Understanding Research
    Vaccines
    Vbac
    Visalia
    Volunteer
    Waterbirth
    Weak-ties
    Weezer
    Weight
    WHO Code
    Writing
    Yoga

    Archives

    July 2020
    June 2020
    September 2019
    May 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    November 2018
    October 2018
    May 2018
    February 2018
    December 2017
    October 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    September 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    June 2012
    May 2012
    June 2011
    January 2011
    November 2009
    August 2009
    June 2009
    May 2009
    April 2009
    March 2009
    February 2009
    January 2009
    December 2008
    November 2008
    October 2008

    RSS Feed

Stacie Bingham, LCCE, CD(DONA), CBS(LER)

Calm, comfortable Lamaze education & experienced support for pregnancy, birth, & breastfeeding serving Bakersfield, Delano, Hanford, Porterville, Tehachapi, Tulare, Visalia + the World

​661.446.4532 stacie.bing@gmail.com
Picture
Picture
Picture
Photos used under Creative Commons from Renaud Camus, jmayer1129, jmayer1129, Rob Briscoe, jmayer1129, jmayer1129, jmayer1129, operation_janet, CJS*64 "Man with a camera", symphony of love, Aravindan Ganesan
  • home
  • learn
  • birth
  • feed
  • meet stacie
  • blog
  • growing me