Day 25: 10 Ways a Doula is like a Real Estate Agent

I once wrote how teaching about birth is like selling a house. I was happy to see Joyce's comparison here, and even happier how her points lined up with reality. We hear many analogies for the roles doulas hold. I think this one stacks up well -- what do you think?

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​Although doulas are increasingly popular additions to the birth team, not everyone is clear on what they do for a birthing family. There are several useful analogies out there, but the comparison of a doula to a real estate agent is less discussed. So here is my attempt, 10 ways a doula is like a real estate agent!

1. The doula's goal is the client's goal.
Just like your real estate agent is not searching for his/her perfect home, your doula is not pushing her perfect birth onto you. Your doula will get to know you before your birth as much as possible, so s/he knows what you want in your birth.

2. Your doula can help you navigate your options.
Your real estate agent knows her/his local real estate market, just as your doula knows his/her local birth market. Your doula can help you find the best birthplace to fit your desires, just as your real estate agent can help you identify your ideal neighborhood.

3. Your doula is up-to-date on the current market.
Your real estate agent will know how properties are selling currently. Your doula will be familiar with local maternity care.

4. Your doula knows what to look out for to help you have a positive birth experience.
Just as your real estate agent knows what items to ask for on your offer (the appliances!), and whether or not the cracks in the plaster walls are something to fret about, your doula will know what questions you need to ask in order to make informed decisions. 

5. Your doula is trained and experienced in the field.
Even a brand new doula without children of his/her own has received extensive training in both normal childbirth and its variations and complications, and in caring for childbearing women. Just like a real estate agent has been trained in navigating the real estate market. 

6. Your doula will support you if you change your mind about what you want.
Just as your real estate agent will continue to help you if you change your property search criteria, no matter your reasoning, your doula will support you if you change your mind about choosing that hospital, or planning an epidural, or having a waterbirth. 

7. Your doula will offer his/her advice, but you are the decision-maker.
A real estate agent will offer her/his advice when pricing a property, or writing an offer, but you are still the one making the sale or the purchase. Your doula will remind you when you stray from your birth plan, but this is your birth, and your baby. 

8. Your doula knows where to go for complementary pregnancy and birth services.
Your real estate agent knows the title companies in your area, the lenders, the exterminators, the inspectors, and has worked with them before. S/he can help you find a reputable professional in your property-selling/purchasing process. Your doula knows the chiropractors, the accupuncturists, the prenatal yoga instructors, the lactation consultants, the babywearing groups, the back-to-work support groups, in your area, and can help you find perinatal professionals in your area to help you.

9. Your doula will walk you through the entire birth process.
Just as a real estate agent will assist you through the entire purchase or sale, your doula will help you from the earliest inklings of Birth Day through the first couple of hours postpartum. Whether her support is over the phone, email, text, or in person, your doula is supporting you the entire time.

10. Your doula follows up with you after your birth and helps you adjust to your new family.
Your real estate agent will follow up with you after your sale or purchase to make sure everything continues to go well, and answer any last-minute questions. In the years after your property purchase, you can even contact your realtor for referrals on remodeling projects! Your doula is the same way. Just because your contract period has ended with your birth doula does not mean you cannot contact him/her again! For example, the definition of postpartum depression is any depressive symptoms in the year following the birth. Your doula wants you to be well, go ahead and reach out to her if you need anything.

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Joyce Dykema, MSc, CD(DONA), HCHD, became a certified birth doula in May 2012. She is also a trained Hypnobabies® Hypno-Doula, volunteers as  leadership for ICAN of Lincoln, and is an Evidence Based Birth Instructor. Joyce is a woman-focused doula. While passionate about natural birth and what research shows is the best for moms and for babies, the goal she strives for with every client is for women to have empowering and positive births, as the woman defines it. In addition to her doula credentials, she holds a BA in psychology and an MS in biological sciences. She breastfeeds, uses cloth diapers, uses baby sign language, babywears, and homeschools because these choices made sense for her family; she encourages others to explore and find what makes sense for their families. Joyce and her husband have three children, and live in the Lincoln, Nebraska area.

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