I sat next to one of my closest friends from college in the hospital room. Her husband and I were desperate to help. The nurse came in to the room: “you seem to be in pain, you should really get some pain medication,” she said for the fifth time with one glance at my friend. It was only a few more hours until my friend agreed and the nurse sent us out of the room while an epidural was administered. Her husband and I went to get some food from the cafeteria. He returned to the room with her mother for the birth of his firstborn. I spent the first few nights postpartum at my friend’s home doing all I knew to help her and her newborn. I was obsessed. In love. Infatuated. Though my friend would go on to be buried in postpartum depression, she saw my passion and suggested I become a doula.

I took as many classes as I could possibly find and attempted to create my own company. My first potential client was excited to hire me. I was petrified. How could they put me in charge of their birth? I had never attended a birth before. Was I crazy to want to be a doula? What if I just wanted to be a mom?

With that thought, my career as a doula ended. The answer was a resounding: yes. I did want to be a mom. With that I turned my back on the birth world and continued my pursuit for a career path, eventually getting two masters and starting my journey towards a PhD. In 2015, I had to drive two hours round-trip to get to work every day. My boyfriend had recently introduced me to podcasts and, in an attempt to find a new podcast to listen to, I decided to punch “birth” into the search bar. The Birth Hour, Birthful Podcast, Longest Shortest Time, and Mom and Dad are Fighting. (Today I have some new favorites: Fourth Trimester Podcast, Informed Pregnancy Podcast, Sprogcast, and All Things Breastfeeding Podcast.) I would come home from a full day spent collecting field notes only to spout birth facts -- until my boyfriend begged me to stop talking about birth.

A year and a half later, in November of 2016, my boyfriend found a job in California, we moved across country, and I decided to be a volunteer doula instead of immediately starting my own company. Volunteering as a doula is a unique opportunity. There are not many hospitals nation-wide that have volunteer programs. What I did not realize back in North Carolina in 2009 was that the University of North Carolina had its own volunteer doula program. Had I decided to volunteer the first time around my life would have taken a very different path.

San Francisco also has volunteer programs at San Francisco General Hospital (SFGH) and St Luke’s. SFGH’s volunteer doula program is well established. It took me five months to get into the program after applying and another month to get my badge so I could work there. 

SFGH is primarily shift-based doula work. We were required to do one twelve hour shift once a month at the hospital’s labor and delivery ward. I did not enjoy it. There were times when I would sit for hours in the staff break room with nothing to do, staring at a screen trying to decipher the abbreviations that at the time meant nothing. When I was asked by the nurses to help a patient out I would find myself in a situation like this: a woman had barely acknowledged her desire for the epidural that was administered. It was explained by several hospital staff how it worked. Once we were alone she turned to me, “what is this?” she asked, pointing to the epidural button.

If I had been there earlier, I could have helped her understand all of her options, cope with her pain, have the birth she wanted, or at least explained to her the confusing birth hospital system she had been thrown into: all things I was able to do while on call with families at St Luke’s. Instead, the women we serve in shift-based work at SFGH only get support from a doula midway through their births, and at that point I was little better than the drugs the hospital had set her up on: another unexpected, confusing intervention to a natural process that modern medicine has somehow turned into an esoteric exercise for medical technicians.
​ 
I no longer do shift-based volunteer work and no longer volunteer at St Luke’s. Instead I work at San Francisco General Hospital for their small on-call program where I help with high-risk births: substance abuse survivors, rape victims, women whose babies will need surgery immediately postpartum, etc. I also started Sweetbay Doula as a doula who works to nurture the relationship between birthing individual and their partner that I believe is so important. And I love my job.

​Since May 2017, Darby Morris has been serving private clients, and volunteers at both San Francisco General Hospital (SFGH) and St. Luke’s Hospital as a birth and postpartum doula.

Darby believes in providing doula experiences based upon continuing education and spreading that knowledge to families. Her business, Sweetbay Doula, is named after the Sweetbay Magnolia tree. Magnolias are known for their strength, flexibility and beauty.  They can be found in both warm and cold climates, and are either deciduous or evergreen, depending on the environment.  Their blooms are not affected by frost so they are able to bloom into late spring.

In short, Sweetbay Doula, like its namesake, is highly-resilient, flexible, and open-minded in all of the ways an expectant parent needs. 

​A few days back while I was in the hospital visiting a friend of mine after their surgery, I saw a family with a brand new baby heading home from the hospital. As I walk past them, I see a lady walking next to them, pushing a hospital cart filled with a few balloons and flowers resting on top of a couple of Trader Joe’s reusable bags and a duffel bag.

This brought back so many memories of my own discharge from the hospital I gave birth at and how it was a cold December morning that we walked to the parking garage with our newborn daughter dressed in a red fleece dress and buckled up in her car seat. I don’t think we realized how cold it was for her tiny little feet to be outside in the breeze.

My baby girl was upset with the draft of the cold breeze and I was so upset with her crying as we tried to get her into the car. Fumbling through the seat belt and a bunch of other stuff to keep her warm, we managed to at least get out of the parking garage. I sat down in the front passenger seat (mind you this was the one time I hated sitting down because of the perineal pain). If I had known what I know about mother infant separation and how I could have been closer to her and kept her less stressed and more warm by being in the seat next to my daughter I would have been able to keep her calm. But what did we know as new parents, apparently nothing, but as they say ignorance is bliss and bliss we did feel when we had her in our arms after a long traumatic birth.

Here we were leaving the hospital, embarking on this journey as three of us instead of two of us, completely oblivious to what was ahead of us. The drive home was not too pleasant and every bump in the road was causing me pain. It felt like I was hanging on to the handle on the inside of car so I did not have to put any pressure on my perineum. At home my kind and loving parents were waiting for us to get home with our little nugget. I just wanted to lay down but the pain was too much and by the time I reached home, my feet had gotten half a size bigger. I still had no idea what was going on. I could not walk properly or sit properly and then the idea of breastfeeding my baby without any help from the nurses seemed daunting. My mom was really willing to help and she did try but somehow my daughter could not latch without a nipple shield. Also no one at the hospital had shown me how to breastfeed my daughter lying down and that was a completely foreign concept to me. Every time that my little girl needed to breastfeed I would sit upright in my bed, get my Boppy pillow ready, cover it with a receiving blanket to protect the pillowcase (mind you I was a clean freak back then) and have my mom bring my baby to me to feed, and every time she tried to latch, either the nipple shield would fall off or she would accidentally whack it out of place and then the whole saga of a screaming baby and flailing hands and crying mama would begin.

By Day 3, my breasts were getting engorged and my feet were super swollen. I could not walk to the bathroom, which was only 10 steps away from my bed. I called my OB's office and they said I needed to come in as soon as possible because they were not sure what was going on with my swollen feet. When my OB came in and saw my face, my feet, and my hands, she smiled and said, “You look like the Michelin Man”. I was unfamiliar with who the Michelin Man was but figured it was a character out of some movie. She gave me a script for diuretics and sent me home. She did not even tell me that the number of times I would need to get up to pee would be exhausting in and of itself. I came home and breastfeeding was still difficult for me and my baby. I kept using the nipple shield and having the struggles. I went to develop mastitis and had a really high fever which put me into a delirium. I kept telling my mom, that she should take care of my baby in case something terrible were to happen to me. The pain with breastfeeding was excruciating and I was feeling like I was going to die.

The doctor’s office called in a prescription for antibiotics and I started them immediately. They told me to use the manual pump that I had to relieve any engorgement. I ended up using the nipple shield for 3 months before I went in for a lactation visit at our local hospital where I met a lactation consultant who helped me breastfeed my baby for the first time without a nipple shield. I had never pictured myself not using the nipple shield.

Fast forward my life 10 years and now I was a veteran mom who has helped her friends through their postpartum journey, and my kids were growing up and I was doing the best I could to fit this mold of a supermom, partly created by the expectations of the society, the family and myself. Due to a life event, I had to make the choice of going back to school to get a vocational certificate that could get me a job and somehow I chose to go to nursing school. I became a CNA and then started taking my prerequisites to apply for nursing school. I was also working as a CNA at a private nursing home. I worked 4 half days and learnt so many things on the job as well. During my year as a CNA, my younger sister who was pregnant at the time sustained a fall and broke her leg. She could not move and had to have surgery. She had to stay in bed until her baby arrived and I left my job to care for her. She had her baby and I was there to help her during her postpartum recovery and so were my parents. She was having breastfeeding troubles, her baby was not gaining weight very well and had jaundice. The hospital lactation consultants came and helped as much as they could and then we went home.

The breastfeeding continued to be a struggle and she had to start supplementing with formula. We tried to look for someone who could come to her home for a lactation consult and finally found a lady who did. The lactation consultant started her visit and I was a mute spectator in the room, and all I could think was, who is this person who is so knowledgeable about breastfeeding and was able explain everything to us so clearly? Her name was Meg Stalnaker. Why did I not meet her when I had my first baby ? I absorbed and listened to everything she did and said, as did my sister and brother-in-law. I just had a lightbulb moment. I wanted to do what she does. That was it. I did not want to be a nurse. I wanted to be a lactation consultant. I talked to my sister and she told me that I should ask for the contact information for this angel who helped her. I don’t know why, but I did.

I kept doing my own research about what classes I needed to take and signed up for them at the local community college. I kept in touch with the Meg via email. After I finished my community college classes, I contacted her again and asked her if she could be my mentor. She said yes, but there was a caveat. I needed to wait until she finished mentoring two other students she had at the time.

I was really sad that there was not enough guidance on how to find mentors for the pathway I had chosen to become an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant. It also felt like there were a lot of negativity in regards to choosing to become an IBCLC as a career. I kept looking to see if someone would be interested in being my mentor and taking me on as a student.

During one of my lactation classes at the community college, we had a guest speaker by the name of Peggy Andrews, who was giving a lecture on the topic of jaundice and breastfeeding. I saw a tall woman with golden and white hair walk into our classroom with a smile. She had the brightest smile I had seen on someone’s face. She started the lecture and I was just mesmerized by her way of teaching and felt like I was back in India in my middle school, listening to my favorite biology teacher. At the end of her lecture she shared her email address with our class and something in my head said, “Sejal, you need to email Peggy and ask her if she could be your mentor.” I mean that was a spur of the moment thought and I acted on it by sending her an email asking if that was possible.

The next moment I thought, oh boy, have I made a big mistake by asking this guest speaker to be my mentor. I was hoping that I would get an email saying how inappropriate that question was. To my surprise, I hear back from Peggy saying she loves to mentor students. I was cooking and jumped up and down in my kitchen saying, YESSSSSS!! Wait that is not it, I actually got a call that evening from Peggy asking me if I wanted to go on a lactation visit in Washougal the next morning. I said, I most certainly would, but then I thought, where in the world is Washougal? Well it is in our neighboring state of Washington.

The next morning I meet Peggy at a designated location and she said to me that she will be driving me to the appointment since it is so far. I was so excited and off I went on my first official visit. I started learning about how to talk to a new mother, ask specific questions and give her plenty of time to tell her story. We were there for an hour and a half and I felt like I still made the right choice by asking Peggy to be my mentor. I have learnt so much about being a good listener from Peggy.

I never for one moment thought that Peggy was keeping any information from me when it came to lactation. I had asked a few other local lactation consultants and they said that they don’t mentor students and I was quite discouraged. I am sure other students like me were discouraged as well. Meg, also let me go on a few lactation visits with her and I kept learning from both Peggy and Meg.

One day I saw a class on hand expression at a local boutique taught by another lactation consultant named Bryna Sampey. I immediately signed up for it, and when I went to the class I was secretly happy that I was one of the two people in class, although I also felt sad that people did not sign up for this informative class. I felt like I had learnt so much about manual expression of breastmilk in this class and that little voice in my head said, “Sejal, ask Bryna if she would mentor you.”

After the class, Bryna asked if I wanted to have a bite to eat at the place next door. I jumped at the opportunity to hang out a few more minutes with this brilliant brain. I was practically salivating. We talked about what I did as a postpartum doula and how I was studying to be an IBCLC and she mentioned to me that she also mentored students. I almost wanted to give her a hug and say, where were you a year ago and why did I not meet you earlier. I did not want to be a total psycho so I did not hug her, but told her that I would love to be her mentee. She said that she would let me know as soon as a spot opened up.

What I learned from Bryna and her brilliance made me think critically about breastfeeding and the challenges that come with it and how she made breastfeeding a breeze with all the techniques and tricks that she shared with her clients. As I followed these three amazing women, as my mentors, each one of them taught me how to help with breastfeeding challenges in their own special ways. I feel blessed to have learnt from them and will be eternally grateful for them sharing their wisdom, knowledge and time with me.

I was talking to other lactation students like me one day, who were in the same boat as I was and one of them told me that when they asked a local IBCLC to mentor them, the local IBCLC said to them, and I quote, “Why would I let you shadow me ? You will take my knowledge and compete with me once you get certified.” I was so shocked to hear this. I have no idea who the IBCLC is and don’t even want to know, but it made me realize how fortunate I was to have mentors like Peggy, Meg and Bryna.

With the struggles I had in finding mentors, I had decided in my mind that if I ever become an experienced lactation consultant, I will mentor students. I am an IBCLC now, and I am a brand new IBCLC, but I hope to someday mentor students. I think it is our responsibility as professionals to mentor the future IBCLCs. My dad used to say, knowledge only increases by sharing. He is a brilliant surgeon and he has helped many other doctors become surgeons and I am certain he never thought this way.

So, why do some people have a hard time sharing their knowledge with others who are seeking mentorship in the field of lactation consulting ?
Maybe the experienced professional does not have the time or the resources to mentor someone. Maybe the experienced professional thinks that, sharing their knowledge with newbies will reduce their chance of personal success.
Maybe the experienced professional does not trust this newbie. Trust building does take time.
Maybe the experienced professional in the specific field is a knowledge hoarder.
Maybe the experienced professional wants to have monopoly in their field.
Maybe the experienced professional feels more powerful if they don’t share their knowledge.

Being a mentor and taking on mentees is also a huge responsibility and one that is not easy. I understand that it may be difficult to take on students, but in the field of lactation consulting, I wish we had more mentors. I wish students had access to mentors without having to wait for a long time. I wish experienced IBCLCs would be willing to share their knowledge and expertise with them.

​Mentors are an inspiration. Mentors can connect you with opportunities. Mentors know ways to make you succeed professionally. Mentors keep you motivated. Mentors invest their time and energy in you to help you grow. Mentors teach you about finding a good opportunity. Mentors have been where you are and can empathize with your struggles and help you find your way through the obstacles and hurdles. I am so thankfull to have found such mentors who continue to be there for me and do not feel threatened by my success.

As a new doula it can be hard to know what books and blogs can be helpful. Today's post gives a list that is sure to get any new doula rolling in resources! 

​Every few months, I make a new friend or get reacquainted with someone and I see that twinkle in their eyes when I tell them that I'm a doula. And I know that before long, I'm going to get an email asking me for suggestions of books and blogs they can read to carry on their excitement about maaaybe becoming a doula. I wish I could go out for coffee with everyone who emails me with their maybe-doula excitement, but since I can't, here are my best recommendations to get you thinking about childbirth in America, doula support, and living the life of a doula.

There are so many resources out there, this is really just the very beginning! There are resources for supporting breastfeeding, books for all kinds of birthing methods, and MANY collections of birth stories. And I haven't even touched on the vast area of birth trauma, including resources specific to homebirth cesarean, vaginal birth after cesarean (or VBAC), and supporting survivors of previous trauma and abuse. I'm considering writing a follow-up post on resources for practicing doulas, so let me know if you would like to see this on the blog.

Have you ever shadowed an experienced doula or asked to be shadowed?  Did the experience match your expectations? 
 
I think one of the greatest challenges new doulas face once they’ve finished their initial training is learning how to put their knowledge of textbook labors into practice when so very many labors are not textbook.  I remember walking out of my initial training excited, feeling ready to jump in as a knowledgeable support person, only to find myself at a 56-hour complicated and confusing labor both for me and the couple I was supporting.  It wasn’t following any of the textbook rules.  Neither did the next 2 births I attended, which were equally complicated and confusing for entirely different reasons. 

Many certifying organizations offer only a short introduction to the labor process in person in which there isn’t much time to get over the natural and normal variations of labor.  While there are many books, articles, and websites available for further study into the various reasons why a labor might look active when it’s not or why it might not progress in a linear fashion, it takes time for a new doula to start putting those puzzle pieces together.  I had to learn as I went.
 
Often on the fly, little by little, we learn as we go.  I sort of took those early difficult labors as a test of my will to be doula.  Wouldn’t that be so much easier, wouldn’t it be so much faster though, if there was a mentor to help in those situations?  This stress over feeling not well enough prepared is what leads many doulas to try find someone to shadow or another doula they can call while at a birth.  But it’s not always so easy to find or implement.  I often hear from doulas that they asked around but no one was willing, or that they found someone but then their client don’t want someone sitting in the corner watching, or that they were afraid to wake a mentor at 2 A.M. to ask questions about a situation unfolding.  While many certifying organizations encourage finding a mentor, few formally arrange for it. 
 
As someone who comes from a strong teaching and mentoring background, I really wanted to offer shadowing situations for new doulas.  But I found that the shadow concept didn’t work well for me or for my clients for a lot of different reasons.  It might be a new doula that I didn’t personally know very well, the connection with the client might be awkward, or often the case, the new doula might reach out once and then never follow up.  The energy output for a mentor is high.  When it’s not reciprocated, it can be frustrating and discouraging.  I needed a different solution, which luckily presented itself as most great ideas do, like a light switch coming on. 

​I’m fortunate that I often get to work with licensed midwives, and an important part of becoming a licensed midwife is be an apprentice.  An apprenticeship has all the things I was looking for: It addresses that most people learn best by watching and then doing; it’s a formal relationship with clear expectations; it’s long term so you get to know each other well; and, clients know we come as a package. 
 
By this time, I was already working in a group practice.  We had already worked through the logistics of our business model, things like work load distribution, call time management, money management, and most importantly communication requirements.  It was relatively easy to slip an apprentice into the mix, what remained was deciding what was required of the apprentice and how to select one.  This process has evolved and been refined over the years and includes the obvious things, such as attending prenatal sessions, active labor, and postpartum follow-up with the client, but also now has requirements about reading, advanced classes, and hands-on experience.  When our group turns a doula out into the world, we want to be confident and we want that doula to feel confident that they have the skills and experience to handle any situation.  The birthing people and families in our community deserve excellent doulas.  We really enjoy being a part of helping to make that happen.  It’s an honor and a privilege.
 
In case you’d like the do the same, here are a some tips to you started:
 
In working with an apprentice, I believe that it’s very important to know yourself before you can know what you need from an apprentice (it’s not all just you giving, it’s a reciprocal relationship). For example, what are your core values or what makes you tick?  Your values help you to stay focused and keep on track, make appropriate decisions, connect with like-minded people, and be inspired. 
 
Some questions to ask yourself (answer truthfully!):

I felt myself called to doula work, as many birth workers do. It is such a pleasure and an honor to be invited to share these sacred intimate spaces with families and to help them access their own power and strength. The work can be long and difficult at times, but it’s hard for me to imagine anything more rewarding. Each birth is a gift that I treasure. 

Although this wasn’t something I expected when I began on this path, becoming a doula has connected me to my tribe. The friends and sisters I have met in our local doula community have changed me for the better and I consider them some of my closest friends. Maybe it’s because we understand one another, we understand the heart and soul of working with mothers as they birth their little ones. We can all nod and sympathize over talk of marathon births, life on call, the honor of witnessing the beauty of birth, and the best ways to apply counter pressure. We throw around words like “placenta encapsulation," “delayed cord clamping," and “cervical effacement.” We oooh and aaah over gorgeous rebozos and peanut balls. We just get it and we get each other. We live to serve and this allows us to connect to each other in wonderful ways. 

Sound delightful? It truly is. Here are 5 ways that doulas can connect with their local doula tribe.

1.      Join your local doula organization. Do a little research and see if one exists in your area. I’m lucky enough to be part of the Utah Doula Association and it has connected me with so many fantastic doulas in my area. This type of organization usually hosts regular meetings where doulas learn new skills and become educated about birth and local resources. They might even sponsor a larger conference and publish a doula directory. If you don’t have one in your area, consider researching what it would take to start one.

2.      Get involved. For example, if you’ve taken the first step by joining your local doula association, why not take it one step further by volunteering on the board? There’s no better way to get to know your fellow doulas than by working side by side with them and meeting up with them regularly. You might also look into volunteer opportunities. One of our local hospitals at the University of Utah has a volunteer doula program. This kind of work helps you meet other doulas, get to know the staff at the hospital, and they often hold trainings and in-services where you can increase your skill set.

3.      Do lunch. Or dinner. Or dessert. Make a list of doulas in your area and arrange to meet some of them. You can do this on a one-on-one level and invite an experienced doula that you respect to meet you for cake and like-minded conversation. You’ll be amazed what you will learn. Another fun idea that has started up in my area is inviting a group of doulas to meet on a monthly basis for a potluck dinner. It can be so lovely to just enjoy some good food and some good company where you can chat about birth work and the doula life. It’s a great way to renew your passion and your energy.

4.      Host birth meetings. Hosting informational meetings is a fun way to educate your community about birth options and can also be a way to connect with other birth workers in your area. Look into organizations like The Positive Birth Movement and consider hosting meetings of your own.

5.      Share the doula love. If you get a client inquiry, but you’re unable to take that client, don’t just send them your regrets, send them a short list of other doulas in your area that might be able to take them. This helps the woman in need of a doula, it helps other doulas looking for business, and it helps you as those doulas reciprocate the favor. It’s a win-win for everyone involved. Run your business in abundance mode (there is work enough for all of us) and shy away from dealing in scarcity mode (there is not enough to go around). The more we support each other, the more clients we can serve, and the more demand there will be for doula services.

So get out there and connect with your doula tribe! You won’t regret it, I promise.

I have known Avira for almost a year now. I remember being struck by her professionalism, and entirely impressed by what she had built up, all while waiting and feeling frustrated at the lack of doula clients coming her way. She didn't sit around waiting for business, she went out and created awareness about doulas, and community for birth workers! I was amazed at what her passion and efforts had "birthed." Hopefully this is encouraging to anyone still feeling stuck in that waiting period between wanting to work as a doula, and actually working as a doula!

I had felt a tug since my own births, the first being over 12 years ago, that I wanted to be involved in other women’s births. But raising two little ones, dealing with special needs, and deciding to homeschool my children for a time, meant there was little time to give to this dream.

A new season in my life opened a way to my doula training at the end of 2011. It was intoxicating and surreal to be fully immersed in my favorite subject for a full weekend!

Afterwards I was left with the job to complete my certification steps and to blaze forward in this work, on my own accord, which seemed daunting, if not impossible. I was in an area that seemed to have NO birth community or even an awareness of what doula care is. There did seem to be a thriving little birth community about an hour away, but that didn’t seem very practical as a source to plug into, as our local moms would not be reaching that far either.

After a few months it occurred to me that I needed to start to round up some doulas to create a support circle. There were at least the ones I did the training with, and I had caught wind of a second nearby training that had taken place shortly after mine, so there MUST be enough of us to start a group! I sent out an email to everyone’s name I could gather, and the email got forwarded and forwarded, and soon we had rounded up a group of about 7 of us who were interested in meeting. We met at a local coffee shop and chatted up a storm. One of these amazing ladies, Coleen Salazar, was an experienced doula and IBCLC who had moved to our small area from San Diego several years ago, and was such a valuable resource for us! She welcomed us into her home for monthly meetings! From there we started our little Valley Doula Group, which ranged from 3-8 doulas a meeting. We would advance our education by digging into subjects and even have an occasional guest come and share with us. More than anything our purpose was to share and support each other on our various paths of birth work. This group was so inspirational and so needed for me. I would leave every night with my cup overflowing, by having others to share in my passion with me.

As months went by, as much as I tried to promote myself as a doula in the community, no births would come. I felt so frustrated. How am I going to be a doula if no one will choose me to be theirs! Even offers of minimal fees and sliding scale didn’t seem to work. Then it occurred to me… people are not going to hire a doula if they don’t know what one is! 

Sadly, we live in an area where a very small percent of the population seemed to care about their childbirth experiences, very few even attend the low-cost or free childbirth education offered by the local hospitals. I knew that it had to start with education! 

Where I had formerly lived, in San Luis Obispo, CA, there was a “Birth & Baby Network."  I had browsed through one of their resource guides while sitting in the waiting room for an appointment with the CNM group who was providing my care. It was by browsing through that pamphlet, back in 2001, when I learned of the term doula, and became area of all my local pregnancy, birth, and parenting-related resources.

The idea hit me like a lightning bolt! We need a local birth network!! Ideas are funny how they hit you and they stick, and fester and grow. Well that’s precisely what happened. Soon I had the name chosen, the website purchased, began building it (thanks to my IT savvy husband!) and the beginnings of a birth network started to take structure. Now I just needed a team! 

Surprisingly only one of the doulas from our doula group was as inspired as me: Denise Stricklind, a local doula, placenta encapsulation specialist, and birth photographer. Denise recognized the need in our area and was fully on board with my mission! Together we plugged away, like a full time job, how to establish a local birth network as a resource for support and education in our community. 

Visalia Birth Network was founded in the late summer/early fall of 2012. Now, a year and half later, we have grown to 21 members, all various local professionals who support the Mother Friendly Childbirth Initiative, which is the cornerstone of the Coalition to Improve Maternity Services and birth networks across the globe. The 10 steps in this Initiative propose a wellness model of maternity care that improves birth outcomes and substantially reduces costs. Every member must endorse this document upon joining. 

VBN offers free monthly educational meetings for our community. We have had topics like: 10 Ways to Avoid a Primary Cesarean Birth, Cloth Diapering and Baby-wearing, the Midwifery Model of Care, Perinatal Mood Disorders, VBAC: Can it be Done, Breastfeeding Q & A, and so much more. We also make a monthly appearance at our local farmers market to help integrate, and we also host some amazing events throughout the year such as the BOLD Red Tent (our 1st one coming this Saturday!), the Big Latch On, and the Rally to Improve Birth. We are a local collective of moms and professionals who care about birth experiences and who strive to make grassroots change in our community (you can follow us on Facebook if you’d like to keep up with our activities!).

I love the way VBN seems to be impacting our community. We are starting to have loyal moms, who come out each month, not only for the information but for the support circle that VBN provides. It’s a group where moms are met with nurturing, supportive, and a “come as you are” attitude. I believe moms are grateful for our presence. 

And the other good news is that I’m starting to get busier with doula work! Our education appears to be working too! Moms are learning the benefits of doula care and the undeniable help that doulas offer at every birth. My hope is that this birth community we’ve created continues to grow and take hold in our area for years to come, and that our area moms and families continue to benefit from the access and support of caring perinatal professionals.

Deanna Dawson-Jesus is a force to be reckoned with! Not satisfied with how she found her environment as a new doula, she set out to do something about it. It is amazing the way she utilized her prior computer and tech skills to build up the doulas around her. Huge thanks to Deanna for sharing her encouraging story with us today!  

In my pre-doula life, I was an IT Professional. I taught users how to use their software and their computers. I explained highly technical aspects of their business to the users in language that they could understand. I drew pictures, I made analogies, and I got “down” to their level. Fast forward twenty years, and I’m still training people…but this time, I’m doing it as a Doula, Childbirth and Lactation Educator and Doula Mentor. I have been a Birth Doula for about thirteen years. I have helped almost two-hundred families be born. I remember what it was like when I was a brand-new Baby Doula.

When I started, I was older, had been in the Professional Business world for almost twenty years. I had experience about how to run a business…and I still struggled. Thank God/dess, The Universe and Little Fishies for my amazingly supportive husband. Starting your own business is scary, amazingly hard work! I needed to make money…get clients…build my network. I knew I needed to make connections, meet other doulas, and learn from more experienced doulas...that meant meeting them. But how?  Twelve years ago the Internet wasn’t what it is now. There was no Facebook. AOL groups existed…but the concept of Social Media was a baby too. So, I started looking, reading, and talking. I GOT OUT THERE! If I met anyone in the Birth Community that was willing to talk, I asked for a coffee-date. Then one day, I don’t remember how, I saw a posting for a doula group at a local retail store. So, I went. It was me and two experienced doulas. That was it. And I sucked up everything I could from them. One of these fine ladies was Holly Wiersma, whom I still consider a dear friend and mentor, the other has since moved away.

Then I started doing what I do best. I organized. I socialized. I got active in the community…and started gathering Birthing Energy where-ever and when-ever I could find it.  I created the Birthing Babies ~ Breakfast Club…a social networking group so other professionals could connect; OBs, Chiropractors, Massage Therapists, etc.…anyone that worked with women through Childbirth and Breastfeeding. I got involved at local retail stores, volunteered for local organizations…but I was doing this mostly all on my own…but I needed more.  I continued to go to that local doula group…and volunteered/took over anything that I could do to help those doulas organize and participate even more in the community.  Baby fairs? Yes. Meet The Doula Nights? Yes. Letter writing and mailing campaigns? Yes.  Anything I could! Flash forward to 2014 and I am one of the Leaders of that same San Francisco East Bay doula group.

That group is the Mt. Diablo Doula Community (Facebook Page) and we currently have about 25 active members. The MDDC meets on the first Wednesday of every month. The members have a meeting at 5:30pm where we have a Guest Speaker or Peer Review…or we just sit and share. Then at 7pm the evening is open to anyone that wants to come and learn about Birth and Postpartum Doulas…and they get to meet the members. Part of being a good leader is sharing your experience. Helping others learn from your successes (and mistakes) so they don’t have to re-invent the wheel. I like to talk and share and I love to help. As time progressed, I had new doulas always asking, “Can I shadow you.”  I remember asking to shadow experienced doulas when I was new as well; and never felt welcome.  It’s hard to get that experience. I’m sure you can understand that asking a client “Can a stranger can come in and watch you birth?” isn’t really going to go over well…but what if it was a benefit?

Part of my Business Plan is to always have a “1-year,” “5-year,” and “10-year” plan. I had been thinking about what I wanted to do when I wasn’t physically able to participate in 24+ hour births. I’m fifty years old now; births are hard on a body. What can I do to continue to make my doula business successful, now and in the future? I knew that teaching was the answer. And then I got to thinking about mentoring and training new doulas. Helping Baby Doulas seemed to be the perfect fit. So now, I am one of the only doulas in my area that actually “sells” a Shadow Doula in my Doula Service Package. This Shadow Doula is a new doula that comes to all the client’s meetings, and would be present for the birth…and if I couldn’t be there, the client KNOWS this doula and has continuity of care with their back-up. The Baby Doula gets to watch and learn, gets experience with me, and we have debriefing meetings. At the debriefing meetings the Baby Doula can ask questions, discuss their business practice with me, get ideas and I also challenge them if they might be straying from their “Scope of Practice.” It’s kind-of like Life Coaching…but it is Doula Life.

This has lead me to have a Facebook Doula Mentoring Group. There is also a free online doula mentoring session once a month; on the fourth Thursday at 10am.  I have an in-person Group Mentoring Session monthly as well; it's associated with the MDDC and free to MDDC Members, but anyone can attend for a minimal fee. I also do one-on-one mentoring sessions (online or in person) for a fee. 

This is me using all my experience, talents and wisdom to help Baby Doulas be the best they can be.  At the same time, I continue to build my Doula Business and am enjoying watching my passion morph in to the next phase. I love birthing Baby Doulas.  I love seeing these doulas become strong and capable and trusting of their own Birth Wisdom.  I love my work.

I thought both of my doula trainings were amazing (birth & postpartum). I loved my trainers and they were able to bring fun into their trainings and put it on a level where everyone understood. I've been a vet tech for the last two years and I love getting to spend time with clients and I always love helping when an animal comes in with difficulties in labor. When a friend of mine told me about doulas, I couldn't believe there was actually such a thing, I was so excited. I have always loved kids and babies, and I love going above and beyond to help people. Thankfully DONA International doesn't have age restrictions, so I was able to take my trainings at 14, making me the youngest trained doula yet. I was able to graduate high school earlier this year and I'm now eligible to apply for certification having attended 6 births. At 15 (right before my birthday), I took a Lamaze workshop in Houston with The Family Way -- I am the youngest to take it and I plan on certifying in October once I take the exam.

Being young and not having children myself is actually one of my biggest problems (that I don't consider my problem!). Last year I joined in affiliation with another doula business, and after about 3 months, the head doula called me in and said “the other doulas in the group don't feel comfortable having you as back-up since you don't know what women go through having not experienced it yourself. They are also worried, since it seems like you just jumped into the doula carreer, you are not likely to stay in it.” So I was “let go.” I started talking with another doula who was young and childless herself. Together we found, looking down on doulas who have not gone through birth can be a very big problem in the doula community. This led to me create a Facebook group strictly for those doulas 25 and under who don’t have children. 

I have never been turned down to be someone's doula. My clients always comment on loving my beliefs and personality. The local Midwife loves me, as I her, and she loves the fact that when I go to a birth, hospital or home, I'm dedicated to stay with my client no matter what. I have pulled all-nighter all the way to 3 nights with no sleep. Why? Because it's not my birth, I have plenty of time to sleep later. I was given great advice by one of my trainers to not freely give out my age. Of course if I'm asked I do tell, but you don't see it on my web page or in write-ups.

My main client base comes from literally all directions. I normally find myself traveling for births. I travel up to 2 hours away. I suppose most of my clients are ones who already know how they are wanting to labor or deliver. I make sure my clients have an opportunity to tell, express, and fight for what they are wanting -- whether that be natural, medicated, or even upside down, I support my clients 110%. My clients choose me because of my heart, not because of my life experience. I love working with clients to find an affordable price, to find what they need, what I can do, even the smallest things, to be able to help them. I'm always there for my clients, and I don't need to ever step away to make a phone call to check on kids, a babysitter or husband. I'm devoted and educated. I know the most recent research and facts that have been proven so that the client can make informed decisions immediately.

I love my job, my clients and everything in between. I don't worry about what client I will have next; my personal motto is that God will bring me what I need. He has never failed me.  Often clients come from people I meet -- car sales man, bosses of expecting employees and such. For example, I needed a car and the salesman’s wife was expecting. He asked what I did, and I get the opportunity to share my passion. Guess what? He wants a doula for his wife. What an amazing divine appointment! I never let the strikes against me bring me down or discourage me; God will bring me exactly what I need and not a second too soon.

I learn at least one “new” thing at every birth I attend.  One of the best things I have ever done in my development as a doula is keeping a doula journal.  I made sure the journal I choose was pretty so I would enjoy retrieving it to use.  It is smallish so that it is easily portable in my doula bag.  As I enter year 4 as a doula, the benefits of keeping a journal are coming back to me.

So what do I record?  The bare essentials, like first names of mom, dad, and baby.  The date.  The location.  The care provider.  Vaginal or cesarean. Epidural or not.  Then I write down one special memory and one “thing” that I learned. Most entries are one page.  Sometimes there is more than one special memory and more than one thing that I learned.  
 
At the start of each year I also record some of the goals I would like to meet in the coming year.  These are examples of some goals I have already met and some I am still looking forward to:

-Make a webpage.  
-Have a booth at the Farmer’s Market.  
-Blog more.
-Attend Lamaze Training.
-Send in DONA recertification packet in August. 
   
At the end of the year, I do a little recap on the statistics of my birth work.  I can provide these statistics to my clients when they seek reimbursement from their health insurance!

-How many vaginal births versus cesarean births?
-How many epidurals versus no pain meds?
-Which hospitals did I attend the most?

The journal has been a great way to maintain focus on the how, when, where and why of my work in the birth world.  I read my journal two to three times a year.  Time changes perspective on events and often leads to new insights on why things happened the way they did.  The new insight gives me a broader, more complete knowledge base to work from.  So what have I learned?

I always pack extra hair bands in my doula bag, because my clients often get irritated with their hair in their face. Little did I know that one day I would use one to pull back the midwife’s hair (when her hair knot did not work)!  
 
Always bring a fresh change of clothes.  I never know when a birth is going to be a little lonnngggg.  That includes socks. And underwear.  I feel fresher and smell better.   

Some women don’t like to be touched.  Expand my verbal support  toolbag.  
 
Never, ever close my mind  to the suggestions of a nurse or a care provider.  Question them? Yes.  But never dismiss them without respectful consideration.  I have learned many things from nurses, midwives and obstetricians. But, on the other hand, the time to have an in-depth, philosophical conversation on “episiotomy or not to episiotomy” is probably not when my client is pushing (not one of my prouder doula moments).

If a mom gets discouraged during pushing, encourage her to feel the baby’s head.  The amount of energy they find at that moment is amazing.  Learned from a midwife.

At some births, I may never feel like I am in sync with the mom, the dad, the staff, the whatever.  BUT, the most important thing is continuous caring presence. It makes a difference-it really does.  Thank-you cards received months later and chance encounters with past clients in a grocery store have all proved to me that my presence was truly appreciated and positive.  On the other hand, there will be births that are unhappy, but my presence will probably make it easier to bear.    
 
Birth number 4, I decided I was never again going to tell a mom to push.  There are plenty of other people in the room willing to do that.  Instead, I focus on telling her how  well she is doing, wiping her brow, reminding her to take a deep breath for baby, giving her a sip of water.  
 
Some babies come really  fast.  Do I need to say more?  Stealing a phrase from one of my doula  sisters, “Use your spidey sense.”  If a mom seems transitiony or pushy, trust your doula instinct.  

Extended family love updates.  Take a stroll past the waiting room on the way to a bathroom break.  Give them an update.  They may feel uninformed. It is a great time to provide educational support that may lead to them, in turn, providing better support to your client.  
 
Few births are “typical.”  They almost all have something that makes them unique. So, essentially the more you experience, the more likely you are to have the next birth teach you something new. A concept I learned from a lactation consultant.

I want a peanut ball.  My clients like them and not all hospitals have them. Doula work is my passion.  It is an art.  It takes creativity, an open mind, empathy, diplomacy, and a willingness to learn. My journal gives me a chance to rejoice at the special memories and acknowledge the things I learned that will make me a better doula at the next birth, and the next birth, and the birth after that.  Looking forward to recording my next Happy Pushing memory!

There are so many videos out there for the childbirth and breastfeeding world, and many come with hefty price tags -- it's hard to know what would fit your classes or clientele. Needing to make a concise list of my material anyway, I am taking the opportunity to also share what I have, how (if) I use it, and where it can be obtained.

One video I use at the beginning of every childbirth series is Lamaze's "Everyday Miracles." It is about 8 minutes long and for me, it sets the tone for my Lamaze-created curriculum, to let parents know what to expect and to introduce them to Lamaze as a philosophy (healthy birth practices) versus the older method (breathing). It follows three ethnically diverse couples through their labors and births with lovely, uplifting words detailing emotionally what the couples are experiencing. My only gripe is, they do not place the babies skin-to-skin with the mamas, but that is more about the time than the idea -- skin-to-skin and kangaroo care were just starting to get attention. Although this isn't a brand new video (2002), it is still relevant and the families shown look relatable. Two women have their babies in upright positions in bed, while a third births on a birthing stool. It is available to watch on Lamaze's website, and it is available for purchase for the very amazing price of about $13 through InJoy.