By Any Other Name...

Today Sharon Muza shares one of her most embarrassing moments as a doula. We can all recall our missteps -- those times we wish we would have done something a little differently, said something else, or held that poker face a bit more tightly. We are human, and these things will happen. All we can do is laugh at ourselves when appropriate, and try to do better the next time!

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As a doula, I always try to do my best.  And sometimes, doing my best results in funny outcomes.  I am sure that we all could share a funny story or two about our birth work.  This is one of my favorites.

I had been at a birth of some clients.  I was with them for about 15 hours. It was a perfectly normal birth, things moved along as they should, and a baby was born.  I took my leave at the appropriate time, said my goodbyes and made my way home to rest and return to the rest of my life, which as you know, had been put on hold.  It was mid morning, and I took a quick nap, thinking I would just go to bed early that night.

Another baby had a different idea.  I received a call from a client about four hours after I got home from that first birth and soon joined another family at a different hospital.  This birth took a bit longer and I was with family number two for about 24 hours, including through what was now my second consecutive night of missed sleep.

This baby arrived and once again, after providing post birth support, I began to say my goodbyes with baby number two and its family.  It had been a long 24 hour birth (after a long 15 hour birth) and I was now officially and totally wiped out and ready to throw myself in bed for a long sleep.

As I was heading for the door, I looked back over my shoulder for one last goodbye.  I called out “Goodbye Samantha, goodbye Jason, I will talk to you tomorrow.”

Before I could open the door and go through it, the dad called out to me. “Oh Sharon, by the way, my name is Kyle, not Jason.”

I stopped dead in my tracks.  What?!?! I had been calling him Jason for the past 24 hours.  How could his name not be Jason. Then it hit me. Jason was the name of the dad from the first birth I was at, the day before.  This indeed was Kyle. I had called him the wrong name probably a 100 times over the past 24 hours.  On the day of his child’s birth, the doula had called him by the wrong name every single time.

I was mortified when I realized what I had done.  But why did no one correct me. Not the birthing person, not the partner, nor any hospital staff.  Not one person questioned why I was calling Kyle by the name Jason. I had never realized my mistake due to my exhaustion and back to back births with Jason.

I did not know what to say.  I mumbled some apologies and rapidly shuffled out the door.  I was stunned and ashamed. What a fool.

When I saw them next at the postpartum visit, we laughed, sort of, at my mistake.  They told me not to worry. I worry about this to this day, probably ten years later.   I wonder why he never told me that I was using the wrong name? Why wait till I was walking out the door?  I can laugh at it now, but I am still completely curious why I was not corrected. Strange but true.

Have you had strange or funny things that have happened at the births you have attended?  Please share in the comments below while respecting client confidentiality.

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Sharon Muza, BS, CD(DONA) BDT(DONA), LCCE, FACCE, CLE has been an active childbirth professional since 2004, teaching Lamaze classes and providing doula services to more than a thousand families through her private practice in Seattle, Washington. She is an instructor at the Simkin Center, Bastyr University where she is a birth doula trainer. Sharon is also a trainer with Passion for Birth, a Lamaze-Accredited Childbirth Educator Program. In September 2011, Sharon was admitted as a Fellow to the Academy of Certified Childbirth Educators. In 2015, Sharon was awarded Lamaze International’s Media Award for promoting safe and healthy birth. Very active in her community, serving in a variety of positions that promote maternal-infant health, Sharon enjoys active online engagement and facilitating discussion around best practice, current research and its practical application to community standards and actions by health care providers, and how that affects families in the childbearing year. Sharon has been an engaging speaker at international conferences on topics of interest to birth professionals and enjoys collaborating with others to share ideas and information that benefit birth professionals and families. To learn more about Sharon, you are invited to visit her website, SharonMuza.com.