Thinking Outloud

Last Monday I accompanied a friend and former two-time doula client to an appointment with an OB/GYN. She had her babies with CNMs, but at 2.5 months postpartum, she was still experiencing bleeding, and everyone has decided it is time to figure out why. The first thought was retained placenta; luckily she has had no sufferings with her milk supply -- she is even nursing her infant and her toddler, and there is plenty of milk for all. But that the bleeding has not stopped is disconcerting for her and her practitioners.

I digress.

We had to wait for two hours at this particular office. Her baby was happy, and we passed the time visiting as we don't get to hang out sans kids much. We kept watching pregnant mama after pregnant mama enter the office, get called back for her visit, and then leave. Some initiated conversation because of the cute baby we had with us.

One in particular looked young to me. She arrived on her own and immediately started asking about Solana (the cute baby). She said she was a Child Development major. As we chit-chatted about various things, she shared her fears about birth and said she hoped she could do it. My friend looked at her empathetically and said, "Your body was made to do it." This surprised me a bit because my friend had a 63 hour first labor, and on the heels of that she told everyone, "I'm just not made to have babies." Her second birth, the first one I attended, was 4 hours from start to finish. Bang.

She was so ready for another long labor, she had 12 people with her during her second birth. They were ready to start the shifts. She was the first woman I had seen go from 5 to 10 in 5 minutes -- it does happen!

Again, I digress.

So this expectant mother said, "One thing I don't understand: If what I eat and drink get to the baby, why don't the drugs in labor get to the baby?" Before I even opened my mouth, hat-on-in-educator-mode, she answered her own question: "I don't believe that. I just had an early infant development class, and we talked all about harmful substances and how things cross the placental barrier. I don't take medication right now and I work hard to treat a headache or illness other ways than I used to. I do not want my baby getting any medication she doesn't need."

Soon after that, she was called for her prenatal visit.

Maybe another time I will share how my friend's third birth was, as they so often say, the wildcard birth. It was an exciting, unexpected change to her other two births, and it left us remembering that each birth, like each baby, is unique unto itself.

Here are a few places that can help you think:

-Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth
-Coalition for Improving Maternity Services (CIMS)
-Lamaze Pregnancy, Birth & Beyond