 What do you remember of yor births? Are there thing you would change? Things you are surprised you did that didn't follow what you learned about or expected? In this feature, a doula shares her birth story with additional hints and advice as seen through her professional lens -- what a great idea! On my first born's 6th birthday, an idea popped into my head to share the story, but this version will be injected with Doula Tips and new discoveries I’ve made since being a natural health educator. When you get to know me, you know that I’m a big planner. Fortunately, we got pregnant the first month of “trying”. I took the pregnancy test in the morning, saw the + sign and danced with delight. I brought the test into our room to share the news with my husband. We instantly prayed together to thank God that pregnancy happened easily, and asked Him for health and well-being. I didn’t experience morning sickness. There were a handful of times I needed to vomit in the morning, but as soon as it came up I was ready to rock ‘n roll. I figured out that I was taking my prenatal vitamin on an empty stomach, first thing in the morning. DOULA TIP: purchase a natural prenatal vitamin.  One issue I experienced was the increase in headaches around the beginning of the 2nd trimester. My midwife advised I needed to drink more water. I remember one day driving home from work, and I had to pull over and vomit in a plastic bag because my headache was throbbing. Ouch + ick. The headaches didn’t last long. DOULA TIP: essential oils can address head tension. I wish I knew about them when I was pregnant the first time. I have fond memories of prenatal yoga. It was so fun being surrounded by other mommas and baby bumps. Another great experience was our antenatal childbirth education class provided by BirthCare. It’s a 6-week class and they structure it so you have a coffee group once all the babies are born. We met weekly for about a year (when we all went back to work). To this day, these mommas are some of my favourite people in the world and I miss them dearly. DOULA TIP: create your supportive group of peers while pregnant.  Her due date was Friday … but she arrived three days early on Tuesday. I woke up before midnight to use the restroom and when I wiped there was a “bloody show”. Exciting! There were mild tightenings, so I went to the living room to watch the wall clock. Sure enough, those tightenings were coming and going every 10 minutes. I remember our midwife telling me to sleep at night and not wake my husband (if at all possible). DOULA TIP: let your partner sleep and you really need to sleep too! Back to bed I went to try to sleep, but let’s be honest, this is an exciting moment. I laid in bed, took a nap, then eventually woke Brad around 3am. In his delirium, he started to pack and wanted to throw things into the car. I laughed at him and just told him to calm down because it would be a while before going to the birth center. Brad started to time the contractions. We got ourselves organized, packed the last minute items, made some toast and a smoothie, and walked around the house. At 7am, we called the midwife to tell her what was happening. She encouraged us to keep moving at home and call when the contractions got closer together. I got into the shower, washed my hair, shaved my legs. I had rented a TENS machine, so we tried that around 9am. This was not comfortable for me, so we ditched that. Bummer that we wasted over $100 to rent it. DOULA TIP: ask your maternity provider about TENS because this can be an effective pain management tool for you. We put on a Grey’s Anatomy as a distraction… do you remember the theme song? When you play the DVD, that song just keeps rolling over and over again until you press “play” so that was on in the background as the contractions started to get more intense and closer together. My husband was amazing. We found a groove of him massaging my lower back during the contractions. After talking on the phone again with our midwife, she agreed it was a good time to head to BirthCare. We arrived around 11:30am and she said I would probably have to leave because I was smiling upon arrival. When she did the vaginal exam, I was 6cm dilated. She filled up the birthing pool (huge, Jacuzzi style tubs in the birthing room). I noticed that she dropped a couple drops of something in the pool. Later on, I found out it was clary sage. She is amazing. I didn’t know of essential oils back then, but I was so glad she used it in the pool. We got settled into the room and kept moving/ massaging/ going in and out of the pool. My midwife provided a carrier oil (probably sweet almond oil) for my husband to use on my back. DOULA TIP: I always have fractionated coconut oil in my doula bag when I attend births. A carrier oil helps hands to glide smoothly on momma’s back, even in water.  Both of our girls were born at BirthCare, Auckland – a primary birthing center across the park from Auckland City Hospital. No doctors, no epidurals… just large birthing rooms with pools and midwives and oxygen/ gas if needed. My main motivation for birthing here was that if you birth here (instead of the hospital), you get to stay in a PRIVATE postpartum room for three nights. Everyone else has to share a room with another momma + baby, or pay a ton of money for a private room. Looking back, the other part I love about BirthCare is that there wasn’t anybody else coming and going (no nurses, no lab techs). It was just Brad and Christine as my birthing team. It’s like a home birth, just in a comfortable space with more tools (and the freedom to leak blood and fluids and water from the pool/ shower all over the place). DOULA NOTE: find a birth space your are comfortable with  At some stage, my water broke (but I didn’t feel a pop or gush). My midwife noticed leaking and some meconium coming down my legs. Darn. She did a great job of protecting me from this information. She mentioned it, but did NOT say it was an “issue”. She let me keep labouring comfortably. My husband kept massaging my lower back. He only missed two contractions during the whole labor experience. What a champion. His hands must have been so tired. My midwife was on the phone with the Charge Midwife up at Auckland City Hospital. She was checking in with her decision making to keep me at BirthCare as she monitored the meconium situation. There was potential that I might need to transfer up to the hospital since meconium can be dangerous for baby. Did you know that I didn’t need to be on the fetal monitor until towards the end of my time in the birthing room? We used a doppler to check baby girl’s heart rate while I was moving in the pool and around the room. Due to the meconium, I was hooked up to the electric monitors to make sure Madam Blueberry was safe. DOULA TIP: you can request intermittent, portably fetal monitoring if birthing in a hospital. I started to feel the urge to push! A couple of deep growly grunts were let out because I could feel my body taking over. I wasn’t fully dilated yet. So my midwife gave me some oxygen to breathe deep and regain control. The entire birthing experience was very calm, quiet. At this stage, I was up on the bed being monitored. I was checked again and given the go ahead to push. Another midwife came into the room to assistant mine. They had my legs up and coached me to “bear down” to push. My midwife wanted to get baby girl out as fast as possible because of the meconium. I was still oblivious to this being an issue. I took deep breath and pushed so hard that I burst a blood vessel in my right eye. Yikes! DOULA TIP: I now suggest that mommas “breathe” the baby out and spontaneously push instead of “bear down” coaching that most nurses and care providers use. But every situation varies. Because I was so internally focused, I wasn’t honing in to my midwife's voice. With the last push, baby girl’s head came out at the beginning and I didn’t hear my midwife telling me to stop pushing… so out came the rest of her body all in one fast swoop. Whoops. That’s how you get tearing. DOULA TIP: listen to your lead maternity carer’s voice right at this moment. They are there to protect your perineum. Baby girl was instantly placed on my chest for skin-to-skin time. She was born at 4:50pm, about 16 hours after seeing the bloody show. Talk about love at first sight. Whew. I didn’t know I could love a creature so much. It’s like loving a pet only times a billion. Baby girl was breathing fine -– she did have some meconium on her, so they wiped that off. My husband cut her cord, then my midwife waited for the placenta (we took it home and planted it below a lemon tree) and started my stitches. We started breastfeeding right away. I was able to take a shower in the birthing room before waddling over to my private postpartum room. Stitches on your bottom are sore. DOULA TIP: I recommend a blend of helichrysum and frankincense essential oils to help with perineum healing.  I felt so loved and safe and cozy in our room after that epic experience. BirthCare is like a hotel with midwives. The food is delicious and plentiful, the midwives help you establish breastfeeding, and there are educational video streams on the TV in your room. It makes me so upset that mommas of O’ahu don’t have access to the same maternity care experience covered by insurance. You can hire a home birth midwife and pay out of pocket for a similar set up. I count myself monumentally blessed to have been living in that part of New Zealand with my incredible midwife and our amazing natural birth experience at BirthCare. After three nights there, we headed home with our treasure. My midwife visited us at home for the next 6 weeks to check on my stitches, help with breastfeeding, and track Madam Blueberry’s growth. We did well. My husband had two weeks off work, then Mom and Dad came from Hawai’i for two weeks. We cherish this birth story and are so grateful to our midwife and all the midwives at BirthCare. DOULA TIP: postpartum blues are normal and the American maternity system is NOT mom-centered. Ask for help. A postpartum doula can provide references to services and can support you with newborn care, routines, sleep solutions, etc.  Jenna Clarke is a doula in O'ahu, Hawaii. She is the owner of Malama Momma, where she shares "Mālama" is Hawaiian, and it means, "to care for, to protect." Jenna provides labor and postpartum doula services, as well as lactation support and education. She is the happy mother of two little girls, born in New Zealand. Jenna and her husband are passionate about natural health, the importance of reducing toxic load, the science and pathology behind illness, and how to treat illness with plant-based therapies, whole food, exercise, and reducing toxic exposure.
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 Poetry ties in with birth work. So often, when moved (or tired), phrases that describe what I am seeing or experiencing come to mind. The way the words arrange themselves isn't linear, like normal, but often spiraling, like birth. Sometimes I write them down, and sometimes they float in, and then out, of my mind. I love that Bryna took the time, while exhausted, I am sure, to take note of the words that came to her this night. Driving home from a birth or a late-night home visit, it’s quiet. The car, my mind, the road– the same sort of weighty hush surrounds me that accompanies a snowfall at midnight. The cobweb-cones of streetlights in the fog reach out for my car as I pass the dark trees on either side, making my way to my bed. The road shines in my headlights and gets dark. A bit beyond that, it’s lit a little by the moon and an orange brush of the lights ahead. It’s this time when I think the veil is lifted just a bit. I’m jangled and frayed, having ridden the adrenaline and oxytocin and catecholamine waves with the family I’ve just come from serving. I’m tired, and I’m quiet, so I’m listening. Connected. In my exhaustion and exhilaration, it sometimes feels like something is standing just behind my left shoulder, just at the edge of my perception. I can all but hear the ebb and flow of life like waves crashing on a beach miles away. Right now, someone is being born. Right now someone is dying. Birth, death, over and over and over again. It’s endless- but these moments are so singular and defined. Everyday miracles, I guess, but those words fall so short. It feels a little bit like sacrilege-- tapping into the pulse of the world. When I get home, I pull off my shoes and grubby birth clothes, leave everything in a pile on the bathroom floor and slide into bed like nothing happened at all. It’s just another night of work.  Bryna has 4 kiddos, a seafaring husband, and a sweet pup named Amelia Earhart. She loves to climb rocks, play in the surf, and camp in Big Sur.
She has been working with families since 2006, and became an IBCLC in 2010. She owns Doula My Soul, llc -- a private practice in the Portland, Oregon metro area. She works as a doula specializing in high-risk and surgical birth, a lactation consultant offering home, office, and online consults, and teaches classes through both Doula My Soul and OHSU Center for Women's Health. Bryna has mentored many students through their IBCLC hours, and loves to share the joy of helping families meet their individual definitions of success!  I got great news over the weekend, which gave me the idea for today's post. I then asked other doulas to share something they love -- it could be tangible or intangible. Something that makes us smile. Something that makes us cry. Something that keeps us connected to this work we do. I loved that the responses I got were all so different, yet they are pretty universal when it comes to doula work. I received a simple text message on Saturday, and it made my day. "Hey, Stacie -- we will be needing you again!"   "I can never get over the shock and awe when parents see their baby for the very first time. So much emotion, so much love, so much birth ❤️." Ashley Rodside  "I love watching partners take over and lead the coaching they just saw from me a minute ago. Then, I can fall back into the ether while they labor without me." -Sarah Branion of Wonderstruck Doula Service  "That moment of instantaneous relief and pure ecstasy as the new mom and dad meet their baby for the first time." -Brittany Kurtzhals of Holding Space Birth  "I love it when I am working with a mom who has valid fears and she overcomes them. They are so happy that they did it!!" -Erin Swart of Erin's Doula & Birth Services
"The look on mom's face when she sees her baby and realizes she did it!" -Courtney Little of Little Miracles Birth Services  "When I watch a partner or dad tuned into the laboring person's needs, and I know that my job is simply to hold space for that magic to happen. -Andrea Hewitt of East Nashville Doula "I love watching new dyads getting the first feeding latch -- the look on the face that says 'Wow, I'm doing it!'" -Vicki Bloom of Whole Self Doula
 "The tangible relief and burden lifted I watch happen in families when they know they have someone (their doula) who's going to be like their guide through the process!"
-Camille Nyman of Abundant Birth Support  What an apt title! I was part of a birth in March where I was able to support the gestational carrier, and the biological parents as they worked together to finally meet a baby made of miracles! I was instantly drawn to Nicole's words and pictures in this heartfelt story, where the pictures say all that needs to be said. A dear friend of mine invited me into some of the most intimate and profound moments I have ever experienced. I met this wonderful friend years ago when we were both at the beginning of our doula work. She invited me to be present at the birth of her son 2 years ago and then again invited me into her journey of surrogacy. I watched as her belly grew, housing twins so gracefully. The journey was unique and had it's challenges, but the gift she offered withstands it all. The biological family had experienced the lost of a previous baby after years of fertility struggle. The ache they had to hold their own babies could be felt in their presence. We had all hoped and planned for a vaginal twin birth, but one of the twins was showing some concerning signs with growth and nourishment so it was decided it was best to get the babies out at 34 1/2 weeks by Cesarean Birth. The wonderful doctor spoke to the surrogate mother throughout the whole procedure, keeping her informed with each step. He kept each babe connected to their umbilical cords for 1 to 1 1/2 minutes. I thought this was amazing considering that the babies were born so early and had some potential health concerns. Fortunately, the babies are both thriving! These two families are now forever intertwined. These images give you an idea of the emotions on this sacred day.          Nicole Edwards is a DONA-certified Birth Doula, a trained bereavement doula, and a childbirth educator in the Denver, Colorado area. Her first pregnancy ended in a loss that tore her down and built her up. Despite her fears, she gave birth to a daughter in November 2011 and a son in April 2015. Before becoming a doula she worked for a variety of non-profits in the Denver Metro Area, assisting the emotional/educational needs of children. When Nicole is not supporting a family before/during/after childbirth, you can find her with her dog, in the garden, gathering chicken eggs, hiking, drinking loads of coffee, reading a novel, studying for her pre-nursing classes, baking bread with her daughter or attempting some new adventure with her family. Find her on Facebook.
 For Mother's Day, a birth-day slide show! My friend, Jen, just had her third baby. They didn't know the sex of the baby, and they already had two boys. Jen's first two dealt with tongue ties, and she fully expected her third baby to be tied -- she wasn't wrong! That's how we met, when we helped create Advocates for Tongue Tie Education. Jen has since moved from California to the East Coast, and I am thrilled she got to welcome her baby at home with a birth team who supported her in all the right ways. Jen, her husband, and their three boys live in Washington DC. They love exploring all DC has to offer in the way of parks and monuments, and this new baby will fit right in on their adventures. Her doula was Justine Robinison.
 When it comes to doulas and the support they offer, I'm a sucker for a good, old fashioned, positive birth story! Today's feature is just that. I also appreciate how Dorothy shares she did all she could to prepare herself for birth, yet she still credits luck and genetics for her experience, because when it comes to birth experiences, we don't always get to pick how things will go. “Why are you still working?! Your due date is next week, what if your water breaks while you’re at work?” “Oh that’s not going to happen to me, they do that in movies for dramatic effect. In real life, the water breaking in a gush only happens to about 8% of women, that won’t happen to me, I will be fine” This was a conversation between myself and my good friend Jammie one week before my October 13th due date with my first child. I had an easy pregnancy, no morning sickness or vomiting, and I had not taken a single day of work off the entire nine months. I manage an office, it’s not physical work and since I had felt fine, I felt no reason to stop working even with my due date right around the corner. I wanted to maximize my time off after the baby arrived. Little did I know, I was about to be one of those 8%... On the morning of October 14th, one day overdue, I awoke to my dog barking. She doesn’t usually bark at night unless she needs to be let out to answer the call of nature. I groaned internally. “Ugh, it’s 2:30 a.m., I don’t want to get up and let her out,” I complained internally. Then I thought, well I probably have to pee anyway, it’s only been an hour since last time I peed and everyone knows how often pregnant ladies need to pee. I heaved my big, pregnant belly up and began walking to the bathroom. "Oh, I guess I really had to go," I thought, as I felt fluid trickle. By the time I got to the bathroom, there was a gush and a lot of fluid. Apparently my water had broken, signaling that the arrival of my baby was imminent. I called to my husband and told him to get up and let the dogs out while I cleaned up. The first call I made was to our doula. I had made the decision to hire a doula fairly early in my pregnancy, and she came highly recommended from a mother of 6 that I have known my whole life. I hired a doula because I was afraid of having a hospital birth, I was afraid of being forced into taking unnecessary medical interventions during labor, and afraid of being bowled over by a medical team that had never met me, knew nothing about me or my baby, and didn’t know what I wanted from my birthing experience. I envisioned an intervention-free birth, preferably at home, with a midwife. My husband, rightly concerned with my health and that of our unborn baby, objected to my home birth plan and preferred a hospital setting. The compromise came in the form of our doula, who I wanted to help me through an intervention-free hospital birth. “My water just broke, should I go to the hospital?” “How do you feel? Have your contractions started yet?” “I feel fine, I am not in pain and having no contractions yet.” “It’s up to you whether or not you’re ready to go to the hospital. However, it can take some time for the contractions to catch up once the water breaks. Since your water is broken, if you do go to the hospital, it's likely they won’t allow you to leave once you’re there.” “Ok, well I don’t want to go too early, I think I will wait a while and go later. I should not go to work though, right?” “NO!!! Do not go to work, and keep me updated.” After getting off of the phone, I called my mother and told her the news. I told her I wasn’t going to the hospital yet and I didn’t expect the baby to arrive for several hours, probably not until late evening. I expected a long labor, everything I had heard and read said that most first time mommies have a long labor so I was prepared for a marathon. With this in mind, I decided to go to work. This decision was made because I knew I couldn’t get someone to cover me, I work at 4:30 am, and I just planned to go briefly to give a quick morning meeting and inform my staff that I would be out until the end of my maternity leave. My husband got dressed and drove me to work, and I was there for half an hour before we left and drove through McDonald’s for breakfast to be fueled up for all the work ahead of me! At home around 6:30 am we both laid down, I wanted us both to try to get some rest for the long day ahead. I was having minor contractions at this point, 15-30 seconds long and 5 or so minutes apart. At about 9 am I sent my husband to drop our dogs off at a friend’s house. My contractions had increased in frequency and length but I was still not ready to go to the hospital. I was texting our doula and asked how long I could safely wait to go to the hospital? She said it was up to me how long I felt safe staying home, and she advised me to contact my doctor for an appointment to check my progress. If I had progressed enough, I could go directly to the hospital, but if I wanted to go back home, I could do that too. That sounded ideal to me, my doctor’s office was located in the parking lot of the hospital I would deliver at.
This is why I wanted a doula and why I decided to go with our doula specifically; she listened to me, asked me how I felt, and asked what decision I thought was best for me. Essentially, she helped me to decide for myself instead of just telling me what to do or what she thought was best. From our prenatal courses, she knew my concerns about having a hospital birth and advised me with that in mind. Our doula knew that I was concerned about going to the hospital too early in labor, and that I was concerned about having my movement in labor restricted by monitors and hospital rules. The most important thing that I learned from our doula was that I had choices for this process. I could be in charge. There were productive ways to communicate with hospital staff to facilitate the birth that I wanted, and decisions that I could make to affect my birth, like the decision to stay home and labor for a while instead of going straight to the hospital when my water broke. I didn’t have to be merely a participant in my labor, I had choices and a voice. In our prenatal courses, we had talked extensively about my birth plan, making 2 or 3 drafts before we were satisfied with it. I also made a gift basket for the nurses and doctors in the hospital, to thank them for their hard work, and partly to schmooze just a little bit! The birth plan would help to communicate what I wanted in the heat of labor, and the gift basket would help them to remember me in a positive light. I called my doctor’s office. When I told them my water was broken, they told me to go straight to the hospital. I explained that I wasn’t ready yet and that I wanted my doctor to check me first. Fortunately my doctor was working and agreed to see me at 11:15 am. I took a shower, which was the best shower I have ever taken in my life, so relaxing! And my husband and I departed for the doctor. We pulled into the parking lot shortly after 11 am and I knew in my heart that we weren’t going home. My pain level had increased significantly since 9 am, but I was still unsure whether or not to go straight to the hospital. In my mind, I was clinging to the 4-1-1 rule (contractions every 4 minutes, 1 minute in length, happening for at least 1 hour) and I wasn’t there yet! My contractions were only about 30-45 seconds long, and I didn’t think they were long enough for me to go to the hospital. Once in the doctor’s office, I had trouble disrobing from the waist down and getting up onto the exam table. When my doctor arrived and checked me, we were both surprised to find that I had already dilated to 5! It was time! I was going to the hospital! I was put in a wheelchair to go across the parking lot. I texted our doula: “I am at 0 station and 5 centimeters dilated, I need you here ASAP!” “I’ll be there as soon as I can!” My husband accompanied me to the room and I sent him back out to the car for the hospital bag. The desk nurse gave me a hospital gown and asked for a urine sample. I got into the gown but the urine sample wasn’t going to happen. I was in too much pain, and I curled up on the hospital bed in the fetal position instead. When my husband got back from the car, I was crying. “I need an epidural, I can’t do this, I’m going to die!” Cue the theatrics! He went for help. The nurse checked me and immediately ordered a birth kit; baby was coming faster than any of us anticipated. I asked for an epidural. My husband asked if I was sure, and in that moment, I certainly was! The nurses told me it would be at least an hour before I could get one; in retrospect I am sure they knew there simply wasn’t going to be time. The baby was going to be there before the anesthesiologist anyway! Our doula arrived around noon I believe, and everything became a blur. I was very lucky that my doctor was on duty and was there for the birth. Between her, our doula, my husband, and the nurses, everything seemed to happen at lightning pace. Almost immediately, they had me pushing, I had plenty of help and support. My dear husband, who had pledged to stay by my head during labor to avoid the potentially traumatizing show, found himself holding one of my legs up while I pushed, after a nurse said “here, help her." Before I knew it, baby was crowning. My doctor asked if I wanted to touch the head? “No! What are you talking about?! We are wasting time, let’s get her out of there!” At 1:13 pm, Tegan Janine arrived. 7 pounds, 3 ounces and 18.5 inches of pure, healthy perfection. I remember seeing her for the first time, her arms outstretched. As they laid her on my chest, I was overwhelmed with emotion and disbelief. She had arrived so quickly, I was caught off guard and burst into tears, “I’m just so happy." Delivering the placenta was slightly problematic, it didn’t want to dislodge itself. The doctor massaged away at my abdomen for 20-30 minutes, and I cursed loudly…but it was eventually delivered. I was given a shot of Pitocin in my thigh because I was bleeding a little more than they would have liked, but otherwise everything was fine. All of the preparation and planning were worth it. The decision to hire a doula and educate myself on my choices and decisions was crucial. I am extremely fortunate that I had an easy pregnancy and a fast labor, many mothers aren’t as lucky as I was. I recognize that genetics and pure good luck played a huge part in me having a positive labor experience. I hope that by sharing a positive story of birth, other mothers can feel more confident. There are so many terrifying stories of labors gone wrong, I feel that women need to hear that labor can be a positive experience. Dorothy and her husband reside in Bakersfield, CA. Along with Tegan, they share their days with two adorable Daschunds. Dorothy is currently pregnant and getting her out-of-the-hospital birth wish: her baby will be born at a local birth center.
 I fell in love with this birth story! I have a penchant for birth stories written by doulas, and this one does not disappoint! As a woman in labor, I can also relate to how incredible and soothing water can be -- one midwife I used to work with called sitting in a big tub of water an "aquadural," and I know many find this to be true. I hope you enjoy this uplifting tale of birth! I find childbirth to be an absolutely beautiful event. It is certainly not at all glamorous by any means, but it is such an amazing experience to view not only as a bystander, but also as a participant. I have had 4 children, all girls, with 4 completely different experiences. All 4 birth experiences, in addition to my losses, have shaped me into the woman I am today. My youngest daughter is now almost 4 months old, and she was conceived the same month I had a miscarriage. The pregnancy went very well, but I was very afraid that my labor and delivery would mirror the delivery of my third daughter, Spirit, which was extremely traumatic. This led to a lot of anxiety and fear, despite my knowledge on the subject. It was for this reason that I hired a birth doula. My due date was Saturday 11/21 and absolutely NOTHING was happening, only slight Braxton-Hicks here and there. My older kids were at my parents’ spending the weekend, so I figured it was the perfect time to put together my bed frame and make sure the room was arranged for baby’s arrival. So I took everything out of our room, and with a little help, put the bed frame together. My boyfriend Jermaine wasn’t too happy about it, but it needed to be done so I had access to our bedroom closet and I could start setting shit up. That probably should have been my sign that something was up since I was so determined to get it done RIGHT THEN, lol. Mind you, I had already partly cleaned my kitchen (still had dishes to do, but had cleaned the floor by hand and had already done enough dishes to fill the dishwasher and dish drain by the sink), and had cleaned my bathroom the day before. Once I was done, I wanted to start putting everything back in our room, but Jermaine was hungry so we ordered food and I went to go get it. By that time it was about 8-8:30p, and still nothing was happening. I was exhausted and my back was starting to hurt a little, which I chalked up to it being from bending over to clean and work on the bed frame. We started getting ready for bed and I left the place a complete mess thinking “Oh, I’ll just get up early and move everything back, etc etc”. So around 12:45-1a, the back pain was still just annoying and then suddenly got really intense. I posted on Facebook in a pregnancy group I was in asking if anybody had experienced back labor and what it felt like, and called my OB as I had began feeling some pressure as well. He told me to wait it out a little since I wasn’t having any contractions at all, but said he would call the hospital just in case I decided to go in so they knew to keep me. Right after I got off the phone with him, I used the bathroom and then went to bed. I woke up at about 3:45, 4a because I had to pee again (had been drinking tons of water to see if it would help the pain, which it had) and began feeling the intense back pain and pressure again. Still no contractions at that point, but I just couldn’t move much anymore so we decided to head to the hospital. Because of the pain, it took me awhile to get dressed and then at about 4:30a, BAM! First contraction hit! And the back pain and pressure literally stopped and I was cool. Started timing the contractions and they were 3-5 min apart straight off the bat and lasting from 30-45 seconds each. So, through all the mess I had made, we grabbed my bag, got as dressed as I could, and we were out the door. In the hurry, I tried calling my doula, Sam, and couldn’t get in touch with her since my phone was acting screwy so to keep my anxiety down I just texted her what was going on and updates as they happened. When we got to the hospital, we were immediately taken to triage after they verified my documentation and weighed me. In triage, they hooked me up to the monitors and checked me. I was a stretchy 4-5 cm dilated, had bulging membranes, and was almost completely effaced, this was at about 5:15a. They moved me into my room, which had a relaxation tub, and immediately started filling it up for me. That tub was AWESOME!!!!!! Definitely consider laboring in a tub of warm water if you can, it feels ABSOLUTELY AMAZING! 
So, my doula comes and having her there was so relaxing and completely made the difference between a good, stress-free experience and a stressful, anxiety filled experience. I labored in the tub for about 2 hours and only got out to use the bathroom. At about 7:50, the contractions that hadn’t been bothering me suddenly felt different and I was feeling much more pressure so I asked to be checked. I told them that if I was a 7 or less, I wanted the epidural but if I was more than 7, I would tough it out. As soon as I stood up, I got hit with the most intense contractions back to back that I had EVER felt. After about 5-10 min of contractions where I couldn’t move, I finally made it over to the bed. I couldn’t sit, it was unbearable so I was on all fours moaning through the contractions.
The nurse checked me and I was at a 7, so they hooked me up to fluids and called the anesthesiologist for my epidural. My Dr. and a midwife came in and right then I got the unbearable urge to push and couldn’t stop, so they helped me roll over, my water broke, and in 2 pushes (about 2-3 minutes), my little rainbow was Earthside and super alert! 6lbs, 19.25in long, no stitches or repairs needed, and the anesthesiologist walked in not even a minute after she was born to give the meds, lol. Oh, and did I mention that this was my second VBAC!   Jennifer Silvera is a pediatric LPN, RN BSN student, and mother to 4 beautiful little divas. She loves all things to do with birth and has a passion for birth and helping others. Ever since she can remember, she has loved pregnancy, children, and learning. In 2005 Jennifer was motivated to learn all she could about birth when a close friend became pregnant -- and she delved even deeper during her first pregnancy in 2007. Since that time, she has had 4 completely different birth experiences ranging from your typical hospital birth to an unmedicated almost home birth. She is a Birth Arts International trained birth doula. "I believe every woman should feel supported, educated, and empowered in her decisions regarding her pregnancy and child's birth, none of it has to suck or be a horrible experience." Jennifer is currently working toward her BSN, hoping to work in L&D. Once that is accomplished, she plans to continue school and become a CNM (Certified Nurse Midwife). She truly believes an informed woman is an empowered woman. You can find her through her website, as well as on Facebook. All images copyright Wanderlust Birth & Photography 2015 -- go and visit her website, her images are amazing! Find her on Facebook as well.
 As doulas, we must plow through and process our own birth experiences -- and those we have grown up hearing -- before we are able to help other women face theirs. Although Denise is not technically a doula, as a counselor, she surely has felt this weight. Her thoughts and experience on this are too valuable not to share. It is our responsibility, as doulas, birth workers, and professionals serving women, that we take the time to process our experiences of birth or they can easily get in our way, making themselves known to all those we try to help. I had all the tools I thought I needed to overcome my fears, my doubts, and my worries about my first child. I researched everything I could about natural birth. I enrolled in an expensive birth education class, and, obsessively, I read everything I could get my hands on. I was determined to make my birth different from what my mother experienced. I would be the natural-birthing, breastfeeding, attachment-parenting warrior I often criticized my mother of not being. To be fair, my mother had the chips stacked against her. She was from Puerto Rico, spoke very little English, and had little support from my father. A mixture of mental illness and lack of family support made for a scary experience bringing her first child into the world. When my mother told me my birth story, it was filled with fear of the unknown, being in horrible pain, being drugged and knocked out for the “main event”, and ending in my mom only having vague and indistinct memories of the process of my arrival. “This will NOT be me!” I declared triumphantly. But inside, the fear turned over and over in my stomach. I rehearsed my birth plan in my mind and told the father of my children to do the same. As a therapist in training, I was engaged in my own therapy, and discussed in depth with the therapist my fears related to the baby. My therapist gently reminded me that I was not my mother, and that I was not doomed to repeat her mistakes; but the ghosts of my mother’s “not-so-perfect” birth lingered inside of me. What if things didn’t go as planned? What if one of my choices caused me to experience exactly what my mother had been through? I couldn’t enjoy my pregnancy fully thinking about the potential hazards that may or may not lay ahead. Anxiety can suck the life out of you. Worse yet, many people fail to understand how a person suffering with anxiety feels. Hearing someone tell you, “Oh, stop it”, or “Just stop thinking about it,” or my personal favorite, “Relax!” can actually cause more anxiety. Anxiety disorders can cause distressful emotional and physical symptoms, and can be severe in intensity. It can range from a general uneasiness and worry that won’t go away, to feeling an intense amount of fear that causes you to believe you are going to die. With the ebb and flow of feelings one has during a pregnancy, anxiety can be easily exacerbated, especially if you have struggled with it in the past. After the birth of my daughter, I was severely traumatized. Things did not go as I had planned. My midwife and husband stood by me as my “perfect birth plan” unraveled. I got an epidural after 2 days of slow labor at home, followed by Pitocin at the hospital. After my baby was born, the doctor cut the cord right after birth, and I didn’t get to hold the baby very long after she was born. Then, my uterus would not contract and the doctor had to manually and painfully stop me from bleeding out. I almost died giving birth; after the birth, the thought of this would not leave me alone. Looking at my baby would cause a wave of fear to flow through me, and I fought tooth and nail to keep close to her at every moment. Truthfully, there were times I wanted to be away from this “little reminder” that everything I had planned went wrong, and I had almost lost my life because of this. I felt a tremendous amount of guilt because I blamed myself for what had happened. My dark fear was that I had missed out on attaching to her, just as I believed my mother had. To add insult to injury, I tried to get my daughter to breastfeed; after days of trying on my own, I tearfully gave her a bottle full of formula. I must have cried every single time I filled that bottle with formula for at least two weeks after that day. After all that planning and prepping, I felt the ghosts of my mom’s “not-so-perfect” birth were haunting me. I started berating myself; telling myself I had failed. I would look at my child every feeding and think how much of a failure I was, and how much she would suffer because of it. I imagined gloom and doom for both of us, because I had not achieved the perfect birth. Weeks later, in therapy, a thought struck me. What if the “not-so-perfect” birth could be a way to exorcise the ghosts from my mother’s experience? If I made an active choice to walk a different path after the events I had been through, maybe the ghosts wouldn’t control my emotions and actions the way they had for my mother. Instead of living in fear that I had done some incredibly damaging things to my child, maybe I could believe that despite the “not-so-perfect” start, I could have a “pretty-damn-awesome” motherhood. Maybe I could learn to hear the ghosts’ voices and gently reply, “Even though I hear you, you will not be as loud as before, and I don’t have to follow you.” I won’t pretend doing that was easy. It has probably been the hardest thing for me to do in my life, and still have to do it every day. Because wish though I might, the ghost lingers. Albeit a whisper, it is there. I don’t believe it will ever go away. What I do know is, it no longer holds me the way it once did. I faced the nightmare and the fears it contained, and it served to birth a stronger, more vibrant birth story for myself and my daughter. Not one of being a victim to circumstances, but one of taking adversity and transforming it to fit my life, my vision, and my version of motherhood. Two years later, I found myself in the same situation, ready to give birth to my son, with a plan in hand; but this time I held the loving intention in my heart that “even if things don’t go the way I plan, the birth will still be good.” I cried as my midwife told me we couldn’t have the water birth I wanted, and as I got the epidural and Pitocin once more, I grieved because I knew this was my last child, and my vision of a “perfect birth” was lost. The voices rose up in a chorus, yelling to me of impending doom, and of critical insults; but I moved forward. My son, to everyone’s surprise, was born in the caul, which brought many a nurse out from behind the nursing station. My midwife exclaimed that this was indeed a special birth. “Take that ghosts!” I thought to myself. Since these events, I have felt a pull to work with women who have been through similar situations, and describe the birth of their child as traumatic. Some have a great sense of fear surrounding their upcoming birth because of what they have heard about birth in the past. I hear them filled with resentment towards well-meaning people who, trying to help, do more harm than good by minimizing their fears or telling them to “relax.” They suffer silently at times, not wanting others to call them crazy, and they feel a deep sense of shame, guilt, regret, pain, worry and fear when things don’t go exactly as planned. Birth can be a wonderful, orgasmic, enjoyable, life changing event for most. It can be a traumatic, scary, life changing event for others. In my opinion, no matter what the circumstances around the birth are, it is life changing. You have the choice of how you will move through the events that shape your birth. The ghosts of the “not-so-perfect” births of our mothers, our sisters or even ourselves may try to lead you down a dark path, but remember the steps you take regardless of where you are on your walk into motherhood are yours to take. And if your birth was “not-so-perfect”, there is support, counseling, and a sisterhood of other women out there that have heard the ghost’s voices, and can help you lower the volume to a whisper. So, how do you transform a “not-so-perfect” birth into a “pretty-damn-awesome” motherhood? It’s a long journey. It’s a different journey for everyone. Some women can say they walk it on their own. Others need to walk with a professional counselor. Some need medical interventions, natural or pharmaceutical. Some need to process the past, and learn to live in the present. Some must come to terms with the trauma they survived and walk a path towards healing. None of the paths are easy or short. You may be trying to keep positive, and I encourage you to hold that warm intention in your heart for your birth; but if outcomes don’t occur as planned, the ghosts of trauma, guilt and shame may be screaming in your ears. Instead, voice the fears but welcome the possibility that things will go well. Hold the possibilities of the good and most positive birth experience possible while holding the knowledge that what will be, will be. Most of all, love yourself and accept the birth for what it is – a transforming, movement into motherhood full of excitement, joy, hardship, disappointments, courage, strength, awesomeness, sleeplessness, feminine power and a little of all of the above – regardless if it is an ideal birth or a “not-so-perfect” birth.  Denise Varela, a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in New York, has been in the field for over 14 years, and has worked with clients from infancy to age 101. Denise is the founder of Nurture We, a team of professionals who desire to help women find the fun in life again in easy and healthy ways. Nurture We is dedicated to providing classes, blogs, life coaching and counseling on mental health and related issues. Denise understands depression, anxiety, stress and other issues drain our joy and our childlike desire to have fun. When we address these issues, we can take back what we were born with -- the ability to enjoy life through its ups and downs, acknowledge all of our feelings, and still have fun in our daily lives! Our joy and laughter and fun will be contagious to those around us and our loved ones will be nurtured by our well-being.
This guest birth story is by a friend who, after 5 boys, had her baby girl. Nicolle was instrumental in helping me find my midwife when I moved to Bakersfield pregnant -- this was her hometown. I knew Linda Cowley was right for me when, at our interview, my dog sat on her feet! I owe Nicolle a debt of gratitude for her recommendation, and in an abuncance of good karma points, she found a midwife just as excellent to help her with Keira's birth. Enjoy the story and pictures!  Cheryl Lopez Photography On March 29th, 2014, my blue streak ended. I had a daughter. She was a total and utter surprise, starting from her pregnancy. I found I was pregnant after losing a pregnancy early in the first trimester. I assumed I would be having another boy. I don't think I allowed myself to even entertain the thought of having a girl, but shortly after finding out I was pregnant I bought a tiny pink nightgown, keeping the tags on, because surely I would be re-gifting. My pregnancy progressed normally. I was taken care of by a great midwife. I can say in my life I have had the privilege of knowing some very amazing midwives. Randi was no exception. I called her for a consult, she came to my house, and I knew in my gut she was the one. I had interviewed several homebirth midwives at this point, but had not yet pulled the trigger After my initial consult, I hired her on the spot. I knew she was the perfect fit to help me and guide my baby earthside. She was competent, confident, and smart. I felt immediately comfortable, and it felt I had known her a million years. Our appointments were like a visit from an old friend. Lots of laughs and love. Towards the end, baby decided head down was for losers. This baby decided breech was the way to be. I immediately called Randi, who came out the next morning and confirmed the lump I felt under my ribs was exactly what I thought it was, a head. No panicking, no freaking out was done by her, she was cool as cucumber. My mother, a seasoned midwife said inside she probably thinking, "oh for the love of Pete, this great big baby needs to turn head down immediately or I will have to be carried out of here on stretcher." We did some exercises, threatened the baby with a spanking(haha) and that silly baby turned head down. And then I stayed pregnant for another few weeks, as my babies like to do. 41 weeks came and went. Xander, our oldest, was to be confirmed on March 30th. March 28 came and bit of urgency was felt by me. I did NOT want to be in labor the day of his confirmation. My mom and Cheryl, my ever present birth partner, made the 5 hour drive up north. But, alas, no labor came. I woke up at 12:45 AM, March 29th, with my water breaking in bed. I shook Jacob awake and told him my water broke. He didn't really wake up, but moved over so he wasn't laying in amniotic fluid. I heaved my very large self out of bed and had a contraction that brought me to my knees. I had to have Jacob get out of bed to wake my mom and Cheryl, and call the midwife. I was having back to back contractions and couldn't do anything but stay kneeling over my bed, preparing for the next contraction.
Things moved quickly from that point on. Randi made it, and my friend Danielle was there as well. Cheryl was taking pictures and I was getting close. I have always labored a long time, but this time it was different. I was going fast. Jacob and I seemed to be completely in sync with each other, and I didn't really have to even articulate what I needed, he just knew. Between he, my mom, and Cheryl, I was very well attended to, and I had a lot of help to support me through my intense contractions. My contractions were on top of each other, and very intense. I thought maybe the bathtub would help, but I didn't care for it, at all. I had a really hard contraction when I was getting out of the bath, and I told Jacob I didn't think I could handle another like it. I started to get a little a weepy, and my legs started to shake, a sure sign of transition for me. I was not feeling the urge to push, although I was fully dilated. Baby was high and floating. Randi said I could push if I wanted to, and I didn't want to, but it was going to be the only way to get this over with. I pushed, and the amniotic sac bulged out like a tidal wave. My bag of water burst explosively, shooting up over the chux sheet Randi was shielding herself and Jacob. Keira's head quickly followed, and with one more push came her body. I heard Jacob say "I think it's a girl!" and the whole room just came alive. I laughed, and then I cried tears of joy. I could not believe I had a daughter. I kept saying over and over I can't believe I have a daughter. She was perfect. Just perfect. She breathed and cried, and was trying to nurse while she was still connected to me. I was on cloud 9!
I wish I had to words to describe how the air felt in the room. I wish I was not limited by language so I could fully explain the joy, the peace, and the euphoria I was feeling. That feeling, that is birth. That is why it happens in a sacred place, the place where that child was created, a living token of the love between Jacob and myself, who are given the privilege to create life. My child was welcomed into the world surrounded by those that loved her the most. The first hands to touch my daughter were the hands of her grandmother, who lifted her into my arms, the arms of the woman who would be her champion until the end of time. My world was complete. Keira Kristina was born on March 29th, 2014 at 3:16 AM. My fastest, easiest delivery. It was everything I wanted it to be, and I wasn't in labor for Xander's confirmation. She was gracious and came the day before. My mom made it, Cheryl made it, and she took the most beautiful pictures. I will treasure them always. A truer friend there never was. I am pretty sure she'd drive the Bronco in a slow speed chase if I needed her to. Randi was perfect, just perfect. She slipped out of the room after I delivered the placenta and was tucked into bed, Facetiming my sister. She came back in with a plate of snacks, and yummy tea for me, and had thrown in a load of laundry for us. I love her so, and I forever am in debt to her goodness to me. Two years later, and I am still reduced to tears of joy when I think about my girl's entrance into the world. She is just what this family needed! Just a few shout-outs to some great professionals:
Linda Cowley, LM, CPM, serving the Bakersfield Area Randi Payton, LM, CPM, serving the Greater Sacramento Area Cheryl Lopez Photography, serving the Bakersfield Area I was so touched when my October client wanted to share her birth story -- it was amazing to be a part of. I cannot explain how it feels that families trust me enough to accept my support as they become parents. I wrote this about Tegan's birth: "I always wanted to say something beautiful when my babies were born, something memorable and emotional. I am not sure I ever did, lol. I think I usually said, 'I am glad that's over,' giant sigh. Yesterday's mom was swept up -- no drugs, fast birth -- and as her baby was lying on her chest, Mama burst into tears and cried, 'I'm just so happy!!!' You never forget these moments <3."  “Why are you still working?! Your due date is next week, what if your water breaks while you’re at work?” “Oh that’s not going to happen to me, they do that in movies for dramatic effect. In real life, the water breaking in a gush only happens to about 8% of women, that won’t happen to me, I will be fine” This was a conversation between myself and my good friend Jammie one week before my October 13th due date with my first child. I had an easy pregnancy, no morning sickness or vomiting, and I had not taken a single day of work off the entire nine months. I manage an office, it’s not physical work and since I had felt fine, I felt no reason to stop working even with my due date right around the corner. I wanted to maximize my time off after the baby arrived. Little did I know, I was about to be one of those 8%... On the morning of October 14th, one day overdue, I awoke to my dog barking. She doesn’t usually bark at night unless she needs to be let out to answer the call of nature. I groaned internally. “Ugh, it’s 2:30 am, I don’t want to get up and let her out,” I complained internally. Then I thought, well I probably have to pee anyway, it’s only been an hour since last time I peed and everyone knows how often pregnant ladies need to pee. I heaved my big, pregnant belly up and began walking to the bathroom. "Oh, I guess I really had to go," I thought, as I felt fluid trickle. By the time I got to the bathroom, there was a gush and a lot of fluid. Apparently my water had broken, signaling that the arrival of my baby was imminent. I called to my husband and told him to get up and let the dogs out while I cleaned up. The first call I made was to my doula, Stacie. I had made the decision to hire Stacie fairly early in my pregnancy, she came highly recommended from a mother of 6 that I have known my whole life. I hired a doula because I was afraid of having a hospital birth, I was afraid of being forced into taking unnecessary medical interventions during labor, and afraid of being bowled over by a medical team that had never met me, knew nothing about me or my baby, and didn’t know what I wanted from my birthing experience. I envisioned an intervention-free birth, preferably at home, with a midwife. My husband, rightly concerned with my health and that of our unborn baby, objected to my home birth plan and preferred a hospital setting. The compromise came in the form of Stacie, who I wanted to help me through an intervention-free hospital birth. “Stacie, my water just broke, should I go to the hospital?” “How do you feel? Have your contractions started yet?” “I feel fine, I am not in pain and having no contractions yet.” “It’s up to you whether or not you’re ready to go to the hospital. However, it can take some time for the contractions to catch up once the water breaks. Since your water is broken, if you do go to the hospital, it's likely they won’t allow you to leave once you’re there.” “Ok, well I don’t want to go too early, I think I will wait a while and go later. I should not go to work though, right?” “NO!!! Do not go to work, and keep me updated.” After getting off of the phone, I called my mother and told her the news. I told her I wasn’t going to the hospital yet and I didn’t expect the baby to arrive for several hours, probably not until late evening. I expected a long labor, everything I had heard and read said that most first time mommies have a long labor so I was prepared for a marathon. With this in mind, I decided to go to work. This decision was made because I knew I couldn’t get someone to cover me, I work at 4:30 am, and I just planned to go briefly to give a quick morning meeting and inform my staff that I would be out until the end of my maternity leave. My husband got dressed and drove me to work, and I was there for half an hour before we left and drove through McDonald’s for breakfast to be fueled up for all the work ahead of me! At home around 6:30 am we both laid down, I wanted us both to try to get some rest for the long day ahead. I was having minor contractions at this point, 15-30 seconds long and 5 or so minutes apart. At about 9 am I sent my husband to drop our dogs off at a friend’s house. My contractions had increased in frequency and length but I was still not ready to go to the hospital. I was texting Stacie and asked how long I could safely wait to go to the hospital? Stacie said it was up to me how long I felt safe staying home, and she advised me to contact my doctor for an appointment to check my progress. If I had progressed enough, I could go directly to the hospital, but if I wanted to go back home, I could do that too. That sounded ideal to me, my doctor’s office was located in the parking lot of the hospital I would deliver at. This is why I wanted a doula and why I decided to go with Stacie; she listened to me, asked me how I felt, and asked what decision I thought was best for me. Essentially, she helped me to decide for myself instead of just telling me what to do or what she thought was best. From our prenatal courses, she knew my concerns about having a hospital birth and advised me with that in mind. Stacie knew that I was concerned about going to the hospital too early in labor, and that I was concerned about having my movement in labor restricted by monitors and hospital rules.  The most important thing that I learned from Stacie was that I had choices for this process. I could be in charge. There were productive ways to communicate with hospital staff to facilitate the birth that I wanted, and decisions that I could make to affect my birth, like the decision to stay home and labor for a while instead of going straight to the hospital when my water broke. I didn’t have to be merely a participant in my labor, I had choices and a voice. In our prenatal courses, we had talked extensively about my birth plan, making 2 or 3 drafts before we were satisfied with it. I also made a gift basket for the nurses and doctors in the hospital, to thank them for their hard work, and partly to schmooze just a little bit! The birth plan would help to communicate what I wanted in the heat of labor, and the gift basket would help them to remember me in a positive light. I called my doctor’s office. When I told them my water was broken, they told me to go straight to the hospital. I explained that I wasn’t ready yet and that I wanted my doctor to check me first. Fortunately my doctor was working and agreed to see me at 11:15 am. I took a shower, which was the best shower I have ever taken in my life, so relaxing! And my husband and I departed for the doctor. We pulled into the parking lot shortly after 11 am and I knew in my heart that we weren’t going home. My pain level had increased significantly since 9 am, but I was still unsure whether or not to go straight to the hospital. In my mind, I was clinging to the 4-1-1 rule (contractions every 4 minutes, 1 minute in length, happening for at least 1 hour) and I wasn’t’ there yet! My contractions were only about 30-45 seconds long, and I didn’t think they were long enough for me to go to the hospital. Once in the doctor’s office, I had trouble disrobing from the waist down and getting up onto the exam table. When my doctor arrived and checked me, we were both surprised to find that I had already dilated to 5! It was time! I was going to the hospital! I was put in a wheelchair to go across the parking lot. I texted Stacie: “I am at 0 station and 5 centimeters dilated, I need you here ASAP!” “I’ll be there as soon as I can!” My husband accompanied me to the room and I sent him back out to the car for the hospital bag. The desk nurse gave me a hospital gown and asked for a urine sample. I got into the gown but the urine sample wasn’t going to happen. I was in too much pain, and I curled up on the hospital bed in the fetal position instead. When my husband got back from the car, I was crying. “I need an epidural, I can’t do this, I’m going to die!” Cue the theatrics! He went for help. The nurse checked me and immediately ordered a birth kit; baby was coming faster than any of us anticipated. I asked for an epidural. My husband asked if I was sure, and in that moment, I certainly was! The nurses told me it would be at least an hour before I could get one; in retrospect I am sure they knew there simply wasn’t going to be time. The baby was going to be there before the anesthesiologist anyway! Stacie arrived around noon I believe, and everything became a blur. I was very lucky that my doctor was on duty and was there for the birth. Between her, Stacie, my husband, and the nurses, everything seemed to happen at lightning pace. Almost immediately, they had me pushing, I had plenty of help and support. My dear husband, who had pledged to stay by my head during labor to avoid the potentially traumatizing show, found himself holding one of my legs up while I pushed, after a nurse said “here, help her." Before I knew it, baby was crowning. Doctor Blair asked if I wanted to touch the head? “No! What are you talking about?! We are wasting time, let’s get her out of there!”
At 1:13 pm, Tegan Janine arrived. 7 pounds, 3 ounces and 18.5 inches of pure, healthy perfection. I remember seeing her for the first time, her arms outstretched. As they laid her on my chest, I was overwhelmed with emotion and disbelief. She had arrived so quickly, I was caught off guard and burst into tears, “I’m just so happy." Delivering the placenta was slightly problematic, it didn’t want to dislodge itself. The doctor massaged away at my abdomen for 20-30 minutes, and I cursed loudly…but it was eventually delivered. I was given a shot of Pitocin in my thigh because I was bleeding a little more than they would have liked, but otherwise everything was fine. All of the preparation and planning were worth it. The decision to hire a doula and educate myself on my choices and decisions was crucial. I am extremely fortunate that I had an easy pregnancy and a fast labor, many mothers aren’t as lucky as I was. I recognize that genetics and pure good luck played a huge part in me having a positive labor experience. I hope that by sharing a positive story of birth, other mothers can feel more confident. There are so many terrifying stories of labors gone wrong, I feel that women need to hear that labor can be a positive experience. One thing I will always remember about this birth: It was an intense and fast birth in Bakersfield, CA, and soon the room was filled with voices offering suggestions and helps to work Tegan out. While I listened to the voices of incredibly caring and wise nurses, and my client's amazing (I cannot say that enough!), AMAZING doctor, I heard them calling my client by her given name, and not her preferred name. It struck me in that moment, what an advantage I had as her doula, with the benefit of many hours of time together before birth! I was able to get to know this family, understand their desires and needs, and offer them the education and tools they would use to shape their birth experience. I knew them, and to me, that really means something.
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Stacie Bingham, LCCE, CD(DONA), CBS(LER)Calm, comfortable Lamaze education & experienced support for pregnancy, birth, & breastfeeding serving Bakersfield, Delano, Hanford, Porterville, Tehachapi, Tulare, Visalia + the World
661.446.4532 [email protected] |
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