I picked this book up in my favorite used bookstore here in Chico, aptly called, "The Bookstore."  I was familiar with the Leonard Cohen song, but as I read I realized I hadn't truly absorbed the words.  Being pulled towards things that have to do with mothers, babies, and birth, I fell in love with the book.  Not only are the words appropriate to so many birth stories, coupled with Matisse pictures, the treasure comes alive in your hands.

I had carried this book in my doula bag for quite a few births before I ever had need to pull it out.  A woman, beautifully taken up by the process of working towards birthing her baby, asked her husband to read to her.  I retrieved the book, and Dad began to read the beautiful love poem to his Love.

Dance me to your beauty with a burning violin
Dance me through the panic 'til I'm gathered safely in
Lift me like an olive branch and be my homeward dove
Dance me to the end of love
Dance me to the end of love

Oh let me see your beauty when the witnesses are gone
Let me feel you moving like they do in Babylon
Show me slowly what I only know the limits of
Dance me to the end of love
Dance me to the end of love

Dance me to the wedding now, dance me on and on
Dance me very tenderly and dance me very long
We're both of us beneath our love, we're both of us above
Dance me to the end of love
Dance me to the end of love

Dance me to the children who are asking to be born
Dance me through the curtains that our kisses have outworn
Raise a tent of shelter now, though every thread is torn
Dance me to the end of love

Dance me to your beauty with a burning violin
Dance me through the panic till I'm gathered safely in
Touch me with your naked hand or touch me with your glove
Dance me to the end of love
Dance me to the end of love
Dance me to the end of love

I may just ask my husband to read this to me tonight...

Three ways to dance during labor:

-Slowdancing
-Belly Dancing
-Spinning Babies Suggestions

Q.  What is your feeling about taking clients that have the same due date?

A.  I would actually prefer to have two clients with the same due date, as opposed to having clients with a two-week space between due dates. It is speculated that only 5-10% of babies are born on their actual due dates -- that is maybe one out of ten pregnant people, so the chances of two clients, with the same due date, having their babies at the same time is even less than that. On a personal note, I have only ever had back-to-back/same-day births with clients where I thought there was a safe distance between due dates, but babies come when babies come -- they don't often get the memo about when they are "due."

First time: A client of mine had a cesarean two weeks early for a medical issue (about 2 pm), and another client had her baby the same day at home with a midwife (her due date), 6 minutes before midnight.

Second time: I had a client go two days early; my back-up doula had a client go 18 days overdue (my back-up had to leave on day 16, so her client became my client). My back-up's client was in the hospital working on day 2 of an induction. My client went into spontaneous labor, and actually had her baby at midnight. Before I left, I went to pop into the other family's room, but their nurse assured me they were sleeping. I got home (35 minutes away) and barely fell asleep when the phone rang. I ran back to the hospital, very sleepy! Baby was born about 12 hours later around 3 pm.

Third time: My client was 16 days past her due date, and another client went a couple of days early. Over-due person delivered at about 10 pm; early person called me at 1 in the morning stating her water broke. Back to the old grindstone!
​
A few things you should know about due dates:

-Fear of the Big Baby
-I am very close to my duedate, should I do anything to hasten labor?
-Peace in the Midst of the Storm

​The first thing that I'd want to do...

Okay, just kidding. Today I learned of a product called "Liquid Trust." It is an oxytocin spray that is supposed to help people trust you. It is advertised to people looking for love or that job promotion. I watched intently, waiting for the woman to state that it is a hormone released during orgasms and breast/chestfeeding, and that it is the hormone responsible for the contractions which bring babies forth, and then the initial feelings a parent has which bond them to their baby. She mentioned the contraction part and the bonding part, but not the breastfeeding or orgasm part.

There was a doctor/researcher there who was integral in studying oxytocin, as well as scrutinizing this product. He has conducted experiments where he administered oxytocin to hundreds of people and recorded what happened. He said it does help people feel more comfortable and trusting, but he said they need about 2 teaspoons in the brain to get that feeling, and that this spray

1) Would not be able to provide the amount needed by the brain, and

2) This is a substance regulated by the FDA, and where is this company obtaining their oxytocin? This company should be investigated.

It's always a good feeling when you get to save the day. Today my oldest was putting together a model of a Mini Cooper and he lost a main piece. He was upset already because his baby brother was trying to get in on the action of putting the car together, and naturally my oldest thought my youngest was to blame for the missing part.

Yelling, crying, a general freaking-out then ensued. I thought I would use some of my new skills picked up from a book called "Tongue Fu," and instead of telling my oldest he "should have" been sitting at the kitchen table instead of his bed, I asked him "Can you think of another place you could put that together, where the baby won't be in the way?" After a thoughtful moment he said, "The kitchen table." I glanced down under his bed and picked up a model piece -- the very one that was missing, and my son happily collected his car parts and relocated to the table.

Viola! If only it were always that easy!

I got a call Tuesday morning from a mother who had a baby Saturday. Her nipples were sore, she wasn't sure her baby was getting anything or nursing right, and she was sobbing into the phone that the pain was so bad she didn't know if she could continue. I learned she lived close to me, so I asked her if I could come over? "You would do that?" she asked. "Sure thing, it's a slow morning, my baby's still asleep, and my husband is here to hold down the fort."

I could hear her baby crying as I knocked on the door. Dad let me in and showed me back. We got the baby to suck on her finger so Mom and I could chat about the situation. He calmed, sucking away, and we talked about what she thought was going on.

Soon we got the baby latched, and -- surprise -- there was no pain! Her left breast was still pretty tender, so she was going to pump on that side for a while and try him later in the evening there. She held her drunk-with-milk-for-the-first-time baby, and was in awe over his relaxed stated. "I have never seen him like this!" She absolutely beamed. He seemed pretty beam-y, too.

As I got ready to leave, she said, "You are amazing! Thank you so much for coming to help us. I was ready to quit." It would be lovely to take all of that and leave. It feels better for Mom, in the long-run though, to remind her I helped just a teensy bit with some logistics -- she and her baby did/have-done/will-continue-to-do all the work.

Ways to help save the day:

-A New Mother's Needs
-When Your Daughter has a Baby
-When Your Partner has a Baby

Or...

My first Root Canal!

I was ushered into the exam room, and an assistant came in, touched my arm, and said, "Hello. Can I get you anything?" She held her hand on my arm for more than a second before she moved across the room. I had the thought, "She could be a doula."

She was my mom's age, shortish, roundish, with long brown hair. For reading material, I packed an article on Non-Pharmaceutical Pain Relief. She saw what I was reading and asked about it, thinking it pertained to my dental visit. I shared that no, I was a Lamaze-certified Childbirth Educator, and my class that evening was on comfort measures and pain.

The dentist walked in and she, too, thought the article looming in my lap was the signal for someone petrified of all-things-dentist. That was when I remember some people really are very frightened of the dentist, like I am frightened of throwing up. I assured her, too, this was just job-related. I told them both I felt my class on comfort measures and pain was getting a little stale, and I wanted to refresh my memory and increase my knowledge.

"You know, it's funny," I started, while these two dental professionals were gathering things together for my wonderful procedure, "Often women say, 'I wouldn't get a root canal without anesthetic, so why would I have a baby without pain medication?'" The dentist asked, "What do you tell them?" "I tell them birth is normal, someone drilling into your tooth isn't." They both laughed -- the assistant with her birth wisdom, and the dentist with her root-canal/tooth-drilling wisdom.

As I laid practically with head in the dentist's lap, she slowly and methodically started shooting my gums up with anesthetic. "Oh, you are doing great. If anyone should be able to relax for this, it's you. Excellent work." She continued to brag to the assistant about me and how wonderful I was coping. I thought she may have been yanking my chain a bit, but I still felt good -- if she was trying to distract me, it worked!

She left to give the anesthetic some time to work. The assistant and I started chatting. She said she had 6 children, and that she was something of a legend: She was the first woman in our county to have a VBAC after 3 cesareans! She told me she has been with her daughters when they have birthed, and then she sheepishly added, "They have had their babies at home." I smiled as much as my half-numb face could smile (a half-smile?) and shared that if I had another baby, it would only be at home with a midwife.

We had a lovely chat. She shared her VBAC story with me. Her family and extended family -- friends and children-of-friends -- commonly ask her to help support them through labor. "If I had to do it all over again, I would get into the birth-world." I agreed it was an amazing place to be.

I left with a temporary filling, an appointment for next month, and a renewed appreciation for the awesome opportunities I have as a doula.

Some link-y-poos promoting positive dental health during pregnancy, 'cause I am all about the good here -- trying to help you avoid a future root canal, folks:

-Is that Advice ADA-Recommended?
-A Doula at the Dentist, part 2
-A Doula at the Dentist, take 3

updated 9-19