Poetry ties in with birth work. So often, when moved (or tired), phrases that describe what I am seeing or experiencing come to mind. The way the words arrange themselves isn't linear, like normal, but often spiraling, like birth. Sometimes I write them down, and sometimes they float in, and then out, of my mind. I love that Bryna took the time, while exhausted, I am sure, to take note of the words that came to her this night.
Driving home from a birth or a late-night home visit, it’s quiet.
The car, my mind, the road– the same sort of weighty hush surrounds me that accompanies a snowfall at midnight.
The cobweb-cones of streetlights in the fog reach out for my car as I pass the dark trees on either side, making my way to my bed. The road shines in my headlights and gets dark. A bit beyond that, it’s lit a little by the moon and an orange brush of the lights ahead.
It’s this time when I think the veil is lifted just a bit. I’m jangled and frayed, having ridden the adrenaline and oxytocin and catecholamine waves with the family I’ve just come from serving.
I’m tired, and I’m quiet, so I’m listening. Connected.
In my exhaustion and exhilaration, it sometimes feels like something is standing just behind my left shoulder, just at the edge of my perception. I can all but hear the ebb and flow of life like waves crashing on a beach miles away.
Right now, someone is being born.
Right now someone is dying.
Birth, death, over and over and over again.
It’s endless- but these moments are so singular and defined. Everyday miracles, I guess, but those words fall so short.
It feels a little bit like sacrilege-- tapping into the pulse of the world.
When I get home, I pull off my shoes and grubby birth clothes, leave everything in a pile on the bathroom floor and slide into bed like nothing happened at all.
It’s just another night of work.
Bryna has 4 kiddos, a seafaring husband, and a sweet pup named Amelia Earhart. She loves to climb rocks, play in the surf, and camp in Big Sur.
She has been working with families since 2006, and became an IBCLC in 2010. She owns Doula My Soul, llc -- a private practice in the Portland, Oregon metro area. She works as a doula specializing in high-risk and surgical birth, a lactation consultant offering home, office, and online consults, and teaches classes through both Doula My Soul and OHSU Center for Women's Health.
Bryna has mentored many students through their IBCLC hours, and loves to share the joy of helping families meet their individual definitions of success!
♥ four young boys and a boy dog (offspring)